In today's world, especially in large metropolitan areas such as New York City, being a second (or third or more) time bride or groom is very common place. However, some brides and grooms, even in cities like New York feel they shouldn't be excited or exuberant about their second (or more) marriages.
Well brides and grooms, get excited!! Weddings are a celebration of your love and commitment to another person. There is absolutely no reason or rule of etiquette that says the second time (or more) around has to be subdued or even drab.
DO everything you wish to do without regard to how many marriages this may make for you. Want that large wedding reception at The Plaza with 500 guests? Go for it! Dying to wear that white Christian Dior dress you've had your eye on for months? Go for it! The new rule for second and more weddings is there are no rules. It's a big of a day as your first wedding so don't be shy about going over the top!
Just DON’T limit yourself! You can have a bouquet. You can wear white. You can have a first dance with your new husband. You can be given away by your father. There are no limitations. It’s your day, so maintain that attitude throughout.
It IS acceptable to request "no gifts" for a second wedding. In almost all cases, second weddings take place when the bride and groom are a bit older and have collected household items and are well set in their careers that making the "no gifts" request a reasonable one. However, if Aunt Shelia insists she wants to get you "something", then just like your first wedding, accept it graciously and don't forget to send a Thank You note.
DON’T forget the children. One way of helping children feel welcome is to allow them to be part of the wedding planning and even part of the wedding party. It will help you unite as a family and it is always a nice touch to buy very special gifts for the children involved - for example, a keepsake piece of jewelry for girls or a handsome watch for boys.
DON'T cave into out-dated ideas that your Mom or Great Aunt Bertha may hold about second weddings. Times have changed. Drastically! So don't allow well meaning friends or family talk you out of the wedding you really want to hold.
DO have fun. This will be one of the most important days of your life. Enjoy it and don't look back and feel no guilt! You deserve it.