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Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

The consensus among singles in Kansas City appears to be that settling in order to get married is not an option. But who would admit that they settled? Not very many people would own up to this fact. And they might have grown to truly love their mate but know somewhere deep down inside that they always thought they could’ve done better. Because that is what the word settling means right?

Couples from around the world participate in a mass wedding ceremony in Goyang, South Korea
AP Photo/Ahjn Young-joon

The author of, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, Lori Gottlieb, seems to think that settling is not only okay it is what women should be doing. But what about men?

There are some valid reasons to compromise not settle. There is a difference. No one is perfect and if you are looking for that perfect girl, that looks just like you wanted, she’s successful, and fun there are still going to be things about her that you might not like. So what do you do? If you stay with her is it settling? What if she has everything that is most important to you, but a few minor things about her bug you? This is where compromise comes in because guaranteed she doesn’t think you are perfect either. You have to determine what your must haves are and what are the things that if you find a person with all of your must haves, you can ignore.

What are reasonable must haves? What’s reasonable for some, might not matter at all to the next person. You have to decide that all on your own. However the easiest way to figure out what you can and cannot live without is to be honest with yourself. Evaluate your past relationships and romantic interactions. Ask yourself what you loved about each person and what you would never accept in the next person you are going to date. Too often people make the same mistakes over and over again and it is because they are not learning from their past. They are ignoring why their previous situations did not work out and dating the same person over and over again just a different name.

One thing a friend said about settling was really profound. He said that people should just be patient. Patience is a virtue that we all could benefit from having. The person that is meant for you is out there. You just have to be open to love and be patient because there are a lot more people that are not meant for you. So the odds make it hard and discouraging. But if love is what you want. It is worth waiting for.

For More Info:

Bad Advice Women Get

Lori Gottlieb


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