Married to the mob

Mafia Wars will make you an offer you can't refuse...

Joey Two Shoes needs your help on a job. I click on Joey’s link and find he needs help disposing of a body.  I willingly oblige, after all, Joey would do the same for me.  Later, The H.K. (that’s short for Head Korean) has asked me to help him order a hit on a public official.  I oblige him also.  Whacking people is part of the job.  Grisly, I know, but would it help if I told you that the 44 people I’ve taken out were real bad-ass mofos that really deserved it?  I prefer a Dexter-style of payback when dealing with my enemies.  Who am I, you ask?  I am Consigliere Jean Harlot, a Fearless, and Level 123 gangster from the New York family.  I am a made woman, and am four levels away from being a New York boss.  With that kind of power, I could very well one day be the Godfather.  Err, Godmother.

When I open my Facebook page in the morning, these are the types of notifications that catch my eye, and they keep me checking my Facebook page multiple times throughout the day, a welcome reprieve from my kirche, kueche, kinder duties.  This game I play, Mafia Wars has got to be one of the most addicting games on the Internet.  My mafia family consists of 55 of my friends and myself.  Each one of my mafia members has his/her own mafia aside from mine that includes others who may or may not be part of my mafia and me.  Interestingly enough, my family is predominantly Generation X-ers.  What exactly is Mafia Wars and why do we like this game so much?

Available on Friendster, Facebook and Myspace, Mafia Wars is a multi-player browser game where players assume a character role and interact with other players in a format where, although there is no virtual world to move around in, they do jobs to earn cash and experience.  The cash can buy you businesses and weapons to furnish your mafia with.  The experience points help characters level up to better paying jobs, better weapons, and more opportunities.  Characters are limited by their energy, health, stamina meters, but are given points to increase these limits as they level up.  Mafias are recruited by inviting network friends to play.  The point is to essentially establish and advance a criminal empire.  Back in June 2009, Mafia Wars had over 5 million users and as of right now, on Facebook alone, it has 19 million active users monthly.  They are so popular that they now even have an iPhone application.  A poll conducted on Toluna.com asked people if they play Mafia Wars.  Of the mere 21.05% who answered yes, there was twice the amount of players between the ages of 35-54 than there were between the ages of 16-34.  Again, why do we like this game so much?

Maybe it’s because in Cuba, I’m known as El Capitan Experto.  I earned that title working my butt off robbing cab drivers, setting up rackets, and taking out the local police chief.  I am not as well known around Havana as I am in New York, but I manage to run a few businesses down there in tobacco, sugar, and automobiles.  Those who do know me know I am a force to be reckoned with back in New York, and they treat me with the respect I deserve.  If some other mafia did try and disrespect me, I’ve got a bodyguard, better known as The Butcher, who’ll have my back in a New York minute.  By the time I’m known as El Jefe, they’ll fear me.  It matters not that I am a woman!  My next big plan is to buy a Coca plantation, because then I’ll really be making some money and then I’ll become a bit more popular with the locals.  In the mean time, I’m saving my pesos and sipping my fruity cocktails on the Havana beaches whilst I come up with a strategy to keep the DEA off my back after I buy my Coca plantation.  I’ll have to consult with all those Politico Corrupto I’ve been paying off.

Perhaps my mafia family likes the game because they get asked to help other family members complete jobs for a compensation of money and experience points, or they like to go out and attack other mafias for money, experience points, and collectible loot.  We all like the ability to whack, rob, move stolen merchandise, hold the kids of prominent businessmen for ransom, and order hits on people.  The heinous activities normally witnessed when watching the Sopranos or Goodfellas, are now pulled off in alarming numbers, simply by clicking a computer mouse.

A few days ago, my family and I were told that we are going to be sent to Moscow soon, per request of the Godfather.  We have already been collecting weapons and items essential to our dealings up there.  The details are still top secret, but we were told that certain activities and people needed to be handled by ruthless professionals, but not to get too comfortable because we’re still not finished with our work in Cuba.