As individuals life can dish out one struggle after another, seemingly to no end. Being married does not exempt you from any day to day stressors or struggle. In fact, some may say that it’s even harder to work through some issues, probably because their always a direct issue for both in the marriage. What some spouses may actually endure is the manifestation of what the fall out is…sadness, depression, maybe anger.
This is where the spouse that is not taking the direct hit so to speak, needs to sympathetic. Sticking together is key here, not allowing for this stressor to cause any real marital damage is the goal. The same goes for those stressors that are direct hit for both of you…bills, rent or even you children.
Sticking together here is even more important due to the fact that, more than likely, not just one of you is feeling the sadness or anger but now you both are. Bad things can happen in a marriage if you are both ticking time bombs. Sure, stress can test a marriage when one spouse is feeling turmoil from an outside source.
But, the quacking issues that challenge you both can rock your marriage of its foundation. Stick together, that is vital. Just like the trainer in the boxer’s corning, check in with each other, ask…how are you feeling?, where are your thoughts?. The success of your marriage depends on your spiritual strength not your brute strength, meaning, not everything is as simple as just getting over it.
A relationship is a commitment so one has to learn to communicate their feelings to the other, show respect, loyalty and encouragement through their relationship. Be honest with yourself about your weaknesses and strengths; absolutely don't be afraid to discuss them with your partner. When life is good, being married and keeping a relationship together can sometimes seem hard enough to do.
And it can especially feel impossible when you are combining two very different people with very opposite pasts. But, when life is added in, and the storms begin to swirl, it sometimes seems as though there is no way to stick together and survive the mess. Trust people though, when they say it is actually possible, and there are so many examples of couples out there with inspiring stories of restoration.
Most people in crisis need someone to be calm, safe and somewhat directive. Ask your spouse if they want a safe person to vent to, or if they want actual advice. Depending on the level of crisis, some people really do need suggestions about how to proceed, but I think it's important to ask permission to give advice before giving it.
Often people interpret advice giving as a message that they are weak or stupid and can't figure things out for themselves. Sticking together does not mean that you fire off “all the right answers” in an attempt to fix everything. It is ok to “not have the words” during any a crisis. It is ok to just be the calmer, more clear-headed spouse and being there to draw spiritual strength and reassurance from.
It is very important, you believe that if you can just remember the reasons you came together as a couple, and cling to that passion you had in the beginning to fight for them and for your marriage, you too can come out stronger and more in love than ever before. Instead of trying to guide or push one another, try simply leaning on each other. If you can strive through the pain, hopefully there will be a lesson and a beauty that you can then share with others in your life.
More marriage articles: http://www.examiner.com/marriage-in-wichita-falls/jack-lopez