Most of the time if I referring to addiction it usually focused on alcohol or some other drug. Let’s define that addiction first. Addiction is defined by tolerance, withdrawal, and craving. We recognize addiction by a person's heightened and habituated need for a substance; by the intense suffering that results from discontinuation of its use; and by the person's willingness to sacrifice all (to the point of self-destructiveness) for drug taking.
The inadequacy of the conventional concept lies not in the identification of these signs of addiction—they do occur—but in the processes that are imagined to account for them. Tolerance, withdrawal, and craving are thought to be properties of particular drugs, and sufficient use of these substances is believed to give the organism no choice but to behave in these stereotypical ways.
Observers of addictive behavior and scientists studying it in the laboratory or in natural settings have uniformly noted that this pure model of addiction does not exist in reality, and that the behavior of people said to be addicted is far more variable than conventional notions allow.
Yet unexamined, disabling residues of this inaccurate concept are present even in the work of those who have most astutely exposed the inadequacy of conventional models for describing addictive behavior. Although there are similarities to some of the behaviors there are just as many differences.
Now, and addiction that is a little more taboo and more difficult to acknowledge is sexual addictions. Although it is a different form of addiction, can present with some of the same consequences. Sexual addiction is defined as a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others.
You can easily replace the sexual with alcohol or drugs in that definition. Another frame of mind that these addictions share is anxiety or extreme stress are common in sex addicts who live with constant fear of discovery. Shame and guilt increase, as the addict’s lifestyle is often inconsistent with the personal values, beliefs and spirituality.Boredom, pronounced fatigue, despair is inevitable as addiction progresses.
The ultimate consequence may be suicide just as it is with alcoholics and drug addicts. And just like substance abuser, sexual addicts can share in some of the same legal issues. Many types of sexual addiction result in violation of the law, such as sexual harassment, obscene phone calls, exhibitionism, voyeurism, prostitution, rape, incest and child molestation, and other illegal activities.
Loss of professional status and professional licensure may result from sexual addiction. Here is a look at how sexual addiction resembles other addictions; Brain chemistry changes are similar, Family background of addiction. As well as lack of nurturing and other forms of emotional, physical or sexual trauma in childhood.
Multiple addictions can co-exist. The treatment focus is the same involving counseling. Twelve Step spiritual recovery programs and medical intervention. When any addiction invades your marriage for a husband or wife can be devastating. I’ve heard many heartbreaking stories from wives who have learned about their husband’s secret sexual lives.
This discovery, or its disclosure, is what I refer to as blackout. It’s like sitting in a friendly, familiar room and suddenly having all the lights go out. The familiar surroundings take an unfamiliar form. Well-known objects become obstacles that trip us up. Fear shrouds us as we grope in the dark, searching for something to orient ourselves by. Even in this one article as I have laid out descriptions you can fill in the blanks with any addiction.
Reread this article and plug gambling, pornography or whatever. More than likely, if it is affecting your marriage, these descriptions may apply. Addiction can take on many form but they all have in come destruction. Find the help your marriage needs in order to survive, it’s out there if you just look for it. Step out of the denial for your families sake.