If you are unable to overcome his objections about marriage, you may be dating a serial staller. Once marriage is mentioned in the relationship, you may find yourself sick of the constant delay. Although the number of excuses that these men use often seem limitless, there are several categories that are old time favorites that crop up over and over again. See if you recognize any of the below, according to YourTango.com.
Everything has to be just perfect before the two of you can get married. He may say that you need to wait for the perfect time, have the perfect amount of money saved or be at the perfect stage in your careers before the two of you can tie the knot. This “perfect” excuse is very convenient, because there is no such thing as perfection in life, which means the excuse can continue indefinitely no matter how life changes. Even if you have finally saved a chunk of money or you have just reached a milestone at work, the excuse can always be made that these are merely steps along the path to reaching that “perfect time” for marriage. One side note about the perfectionist is that he is not usually a perfectionist when it comes to other things in life, just when it comes to those talks about marriage.
Chicken Little was the doom and gloom character who believed the sky was falling when an acorn fell on his head. When it comes to stalling over marriage, a “chicken little,” is the guy who focuses on every negative aspect of marriage. He will try to convince you that surely the sky will fall and you will both end up miserable and divorced if you marry. He can site every couple that he has ever known who has gotten divorced, yet he can’t seem to name one happily married couple. He’ll explain how the two of you are doomed because his buddy from college just got divorced from a woman that he dated for two weeks prior to marrying her on a whim.
Peter Pan was the boy who never wanted to grow up. Many grown men also admit that they are not ready to grow up, especially when it comes to marriage. Some of them outright admit that the idea of marriage makes them feel old or that they still want to have more time to enjoy those carefree bachelor days. Some will just state that they need more time or that they haven’t lived enough of life to “settle down” yet, while other are very specific. The glaring fact that finally makes a girlfriend leave was that a Peter Pan had not embarked on even one of the adventures/plans on his list during the entire 8 years that they were dating.
This is the man who will claim that marriage is merely a legal document or a piece of paper. The man who has never taken any interest in the law will suddenly cite every nuance of what defines a “common law marriage” to explain why living together really isn’t very different from an official marriage. It doesn’t really matter whether this man is just grasping at straws when he gives this excuse or whether he truly believes it. Either way, this is not a man that you want to marry. If he doesn’t believe this “piece of paper” excuse, then he is dishonest. If he truly feels this way, then he has no understanding of the importance of marriage and why you value it, which is fundamental to having a lasting marriage.
The Variety Pack Guy
All serial stallers want to keep their options open by remaining single for as long as they can, but the variety pack guy also wants to keep his options open when it comes to his pool of excuses. At any given time he will have 4 or 5 excuses that he tosses out so that he is never backed into a corner when one or two of his excuses are no longer valid. He is the guy who has to wait until his mother is no longer ill, his family have adjusted to his divorce and he is financially stable. By starting out with this variety pack of excuses he will always have at least one barrier to marriage that remains no matter what turns life takes. Even if he wins the lottery and his mom becomes the picture of health he can still argue that his son who needed to graduate from high school now needs to graduate from college before he is ready to cope with his father remarrying. It never ends.
Once a man establishes himself as a serial staller, he has shown that he views marriage as something to be avoided rather than something to be excited about. If he isn’t excited about marrying you, then it is time to find someone who will be thrilled to marry you.