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Marital empty nest

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People talk a lot about empty nest syndrome, the time when the sounds of the kids play and running through the house comes to an end. We have one graduation left of 5, Wichita Falls Hirschi High school student. It seems that moms and dads would really be excited to finally have that alone time, that special time reconnect and strengthen the romance in your marriage that’s been so hard to maintain.

It seems that is the time when you regain momentum loss or negotiated due to the sacrifices made school activities. Not that that is a bad thing, that’s what parents do. Kids grow up and become their own people, create their own lives and hopefully learn from minimal struggles.

But when they are gone, that should be the time when your marriage should find second gear, pull the throttle back and move on to the next stage of your lives. Empty nest should not feel like a life ending event. You should more time for each other to do married couples stuff.

Being grateful for the fact that your kids have the confidence to at least go out see what the world has to offer is how it should be. Sure there will be times when the empty house will have its effects on you but why focus on that. Now you’re free to focus on your husband, focus on your wife, and start dating again.

Some people tend to think that a portion of your marital stress stems from lack in spiritual intimacy, which I agree, could create turbulence in your marriage. Here is the perfect time to regain that spiritual connection. There is with a doubt a spiritual connection that occurs when two people fall in love.

But like anything else that connection need nurturing to maintain its strength. Is it possible that our spirits loss there spiritual connection long before our hearts fall out love, it’s possible. Maybe that’s why there so many couple that divorce after the kids are of the home. Those couples didn’t make time rekindle flames, didn’t do anything to nurture their marriage.

Sure get loss in the hustle of work, school and tending to your children’s needs but you have to make a way maintain the intimacy in your marriage. Make time for that spouse! It’s horrible to find that once the kids are grown and gone you have nothing else in common.

The kids go and you find that you are total strangers. Maybe that is where this empty nest “syndrome” comes from; you have spent 100% of your energy focused on the children leaving nothing in reserve for your spouse. It’s no wonder that you grow apart.

No, it’s not your children’s fault that that happens, it should fall on each spouse to identify the feelings of distance in the marriage and address it. It is amazing how much a couple of days of alone time 2 or 3 times a year will do for your marriage. Maybe staying in tuned to each other's needs and interest will help minimize the effects of empty nest.

You shouldn’t allow for you two to become strangers. Yes, the growth of your children is important, supporting them is a big deal, but it shouldn’t cost you your marriage. If your children are close to moving on, get to know each other again. Replenish that love and intimacy you once had. Now is the time to not just rekindle a flame but create an inferno, love like you did when you first got marriage.

Just because you’ll be entering a new chapter in your life doesn’t mean your life should be boring or depressing. Let that senior go, support them through graduation, be there for them but let them grow. Good luck to the seniors of 2014 and moms and dads if that’s the last child to let go…have a blessed marriage and have fun!!

More marriage articles: http://www.examiner.com/marriage-in-wichita-falls/jack-lopez

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