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Marge Simpson for President

Actor in Simpson costume (Marge and Maggie Simpson)
Actor in Simpson costume (Marge and Maggie Simpson)
Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images

With the upcoming presidential election, potential candidates have begun early campaigning. Promises of making America a happier place grow deep and smelly. Boots purchases across the nation are on the rise as Americans donned them for campaign speeches. Each hopeful, future candidate believes he or she is best for the country, despite embarrassing buffoonery, glaring character flaws and outdated political ideologies. However, there is one unassuming prospect who truly does possess the skills to make America a happy place. That plausible candidate is Marjorie Bouvier Simpson.

Marge Simpson is as Americana as apple pie. She represents all aspects of life in mainstream society. She has lived the good, bad and ugly. Through it all, she remains shamelessly optimistic.

As a spouse, Marge is compassionate towards the intellectually challenged. She is also concerned about the environmental long-termed effects of radiation and toxics. She relates to parents everywhere with wayward children. Children who refuse to conform and may never leave home. Marge Simpson is a real person who knows midlife crises happen. Her own public midlife crisis will forever be etched in the minds of Playboy readers.

When it comes to national communities, Marge understands the middle class and what it means to live within a budget. She has driven the same hoopty sedan for 25 years. Her sensitivity to the elderly is reflected in her commitment of never changing her blue beehive hairstyle. From chain smoking, sardonic relatives to institutionalized criminally insane “Hannibal Lecter” wannabes, she developed the survival skills to deal with the socially inept. Marge has the unique ability to overlook the unseemly through the simple resolve of putting on rose-colored glasses, a blank stare and mindless smile.

If elected Madam President, Marge Simpson will tirelessly work to put a pleasant spin on the most dismal person, people and circumstances. Never again will anyone have to adjust to the reality of paradigm shifts and challenged comfort zones. The world will be a better place because of Marge’s refusal to see it any other way.

Vote for Marge Simpson for President. A vote for Marge is a vote for finding a happy place for everyone.

About the Author:
C. C. J. Vann is a writer, columnist and geek cultural enthusiast. Her blog is “C. C. J. Vann”, (

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