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Mansion Nightclub tries too hard


AP/New York Magazine. The lobby at Mansion Nightclub.

Here is the deal about Mansion. Any tourist will be under the impression that Mansion is THE nightclub in Miami. They will think that it is where the stars play and where A listers lounge. Well if you consider Brooke Hogan an A-lister then perhaps you are in the right place.

Lets go down the list of imperfections. Mansion charges mucho mula to even walk in the door, not to mention that the drinks are ridiculously expensive! The nightclub also sends out little men to pass out "VIP Passes" to groups of girls walking on Ocean Drive. Well, these are not VIP passes, but if you would like to play pretend then tell all your friends you were VIP at this club then go right ahead, however, if your friends are locals then they will not be impressed. The truth is, the VIP Passes don't even compare to Miami Beach's Nightlife VIP treatment. These passes are merely used to bring traffic into the nightclub, a tactic that other clubs would never lower themselves to do.

Also, the fact that everyone is of legal age is very doubtful. It was as if I had stepped into Wet Seal and Forever 21 (no pun intended). A large group of cheap, strappy tank tops and platform heels dancing in circles all over the dance floor. To the teenagers that snuck into this club: A fake Fendi Spy Bag can be spotted from a mile away. Also, anyone who owns a Fendi Spy Bag would never bring it to the club. Your welcome.

Lastly, do not even bother to go to the bathroom facilities at this establishment. Remember High School Dances? Enough said.

Lets be nice for a bit. Mansion is a good time. Yes, they may stoop to low grounds and pretend as if they are the best place to party, but to be honest, if visiting Mansion with a group of friends then good times will be had. The club is large and flashy. The decor is exceptional, but greatly overshadowed by the large crowd. The music is also deserving of some credit. It is diverse and fun; it could possibly be the soundtrack to a Miami night. Lastly, the location is great. Mansion is in the middle of everything!

Mansion does have its edge over some other clubs due to its size and variety of dance rooms and music. From Hip Hop, to House, to Top 40, one will find their choice of music to dance to. Lets be honest, after a few cocktails anyone will love old school Britney Spears and Madonna. So give Mansion a try, but believe that Miami Beach has better clubs and lounges. And if you are a tourist then please diversify yourself and see what Miami Beach really has to offer.

For more: Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 305.695.8411

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  • Mercedes 5 years ago

    Paris Hilton has been there... shes a celebirty bigger than Brook

  • Nicole 5 years ago

    HA, everyone knows Paris GETS PAID TO GO! She would never choose to go there.

  • kal 5 years ago

    lol this article is hilarious