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ManServants wants to match women with a man who cares like it's his job

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A new service coming out of San Francisco aims to derail the progress that men have made over these last few millennia. ManServants, a kickstarter-funded company that provides women with their very own responsive and attentive (but totally asexual) man is set to begin servicing San Francisco women this Fall.

While some might find it harmlessly reminiscent of 30 Rock's Porn for Women, this company could be the beginning of terrifying setbacks in the struggle for male equality (which could be a real, actual thing, maybe, if you don't think about it too much). ManServants is the brainchild of two former advertising execs, Josephine Wai Lin and Dala Khajah, who believe that women don't want strippers or escorts as much as they simply want a man to listen to them and offer compliments on a regular basis (every 15 minutes, in fact; it's in their code of conduct).

"We believe personal assistants and pool boys are luxuries every woman, or gay guy, deserves - even if it's just for a day," the founders wrote on their site. "And they make great accessories."

That accessories line isn't just marketing mumbo jumbo, either. Women who rent a ManServant can make their serf answer to any name they choose for him, they can make him wear any uniform "that doesn't include a banana hammock," they can force him to kneel on all fours to provide a seat for their pet, and they can make the man give them piggyback rides at a moment's notice.

The rules of conduct for a ManServant harken back to old school rules of chivalry like opening doors for women and standing up when she enters the room. While these trends may have gone out fashion with most modern men, the women who run ManServants insist on them being observed even when they're not necessary. "A ManServant knows it's never out of style to lay his coat on the ground for a lady," one rule says, adding, "even when her path is clear of all obstacles."

Perhaps anticipating the type of men this job will attract, the site was very clear:

"As a general footnote, this is not an adult entertainment service. No nudity or illegal activities will be permitted. For the love of all that is good and holy, do not send us naked photographs. Your penis will not get you a job, but a great smile and winning personality will. Do not consider applying if you have ever been called the following: douchebag, sexual offender, sexist, creeper, nutjob, weirdo, or convicted felon."

I don't think I'm alone when I call this service horrifically demeaning to men all across the world. Reducing men to husks designed to serve blindly undermines our personhood, plain and simple. Men are more than neanderthalic photo takers and mongoloid butlers. We're people. Besides, I think if society has taught us one thing, it's that men are not objects. Women are objects.

Modern women are increasingly aggressive in their demands. Not only are they treating men like sexual objects, did you know that sixty percent of companies now have at least two female executives? While some might say that is a pathetically small number, just consider that each lady executive means one more poor man forced to degrade himself by lighting cigarettes and pouring drinks for a tipsy bachelorette party.

While this doesn't bode well for the future of men as we continue in our struggle to make 17 percent more at our jobs than women, I wouldn't seriously expect to see ManServants franchises pop up across the country. It doesn't bode well for a company's success when they have to put, "This is a real service," in their promo video.

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