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Man in Funny Hat Stops Where Kids Hallucinated, to Eat and Serve Crackers

Yup, that's right. Voice of America reports today that the Pope is closing out his whirlwind tour of Portugal with a very special mass near Fatima, pictured in the article creepily giving a kid the eucharist. Or maybe I'm reading in. You know... because of all the rape.

Those who aren't up to date on Catholic mythology might be wondering: why Fatima? Simple. Because on May 13, 1917, the Blessed Mother allegedly visited three shepherd kids from Fatima (fatiman kids? that can't be right) and then returned on the 13th day of the month, every month, for six months. What great message did she have for these three poor kiddos? That they were to bind themselves with painful cloths, abstain from water, and perform other forms of penance for other peoples' sins.

Hm, young kids performing penance for others' sins... at least the Catholic Church is consistent.

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