A 67-year-old man has been arrested after being spotted driving while sucking on a dildo, according to a Feb. 14 report by The Smoking Gun. Did reading that just ruin your Valentine's Day?
Police in Michigan responded to a 911 call about "a subject in a silver car sucking on a dildo." Sergeant Steve Allen with the Trenton Police Department accosted the senior citizen away from his blue 2010 Ford Fusion. Allen had the privilege of filing an incident report that must have looked extremely interesting to his police chief.
On his arrest report, Allen wrote that he "saw a flesh colored dildo lying on the passenger seat" and stated that the suspect admitted to the sexually deviant act and public lewdness. The suspect's name has not been made available. But hey, at least he didn't pay for hookers or engage in human sex trafficking, which presumably are worse offenses than toy-related fellatio.
Allen made the arrest at 10:55 a.m. at Elizabeth Park in Trenton near the "horse area". The man, who was not wearing his seat belt, admitted to the police officer that he was "sucking on a dildo". The suspect then added, "I'm sorry".
The pensioner also "admitted to having a problem with sex toys," added Allen. The dude is being charged for disorderly conduct in a public park and booked into the Trenton jail on a misdemeanor charge. In the next few days, he'll have to appear for arraignment in District Court.
Somewhere in the Trenton police station is a flesh dildo tagged as evidence #794. Judge Judy could use this man's appearance for ratings purposes. So could Dr. Phil.
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