In Hutton, England, a couple had a surprise guest who showed up for their wedding. While he wasn’t there to watch the couple exchange vows, he put a damper on the wedding day by cutting off his testicles with a pair of scissors. OUCH.
Most bride and groom couples love to receive gifts on their wedding day, however, it seems this man didn’t understand that it was supposed to be “wedding BELLS” instead of what he was offering.
The guests said they arrived Saturday afternoon, earlier than the set time, to the All Saints Church in Hutton. As the guests arrived, they found they had to wait outside the church due to the surprise guest appearance of a man who had injured himself, according to the Brentwood Weekly News.
One wedding guest, who preferred to stay anonymous, stated:
There was blood all over the floor just outside the church. When I went in there, it was like someone had been murdered. There was blood everywhere. The vicar knew of the man and said he had come into the church as they were setting up. He said the man had chopped his testicles off with a pair of scissors and was going berserk, chucking chairs around. I’m surprised he didn’t pass out. When I went in the church, I saw something on the floor which I could only describe as flesh, which I thought was part of his arm but that was one of his testicles.
The Essex police arrived to save the day, take the man away and give their opinion of the situation. It was confirmed. The man had suffered injuries to his testicles. Although their rendition of the tale was that he had not sustained the injuries at the church.
Reverend Bob Wallace stated the man had “self-harmed outside.”
I’m more concerned that he is now getting the appropriate treatment.
Police have confirmed the man was treated at the hospital and he was later given a mental health assessment. Let’s hope so. Anyone who shows up presenting his testicles as a gift to the bride and groom needs to be taught people skills and the proper etiquette skills at weddings.
Joking aside, let’s hope he is given the help he needs. Anyone with testicles large enough to cut off their own testicles deserves help and to be put into the Guinness Book for the worst wedding day crasher in history. There is no word as to whether or not the couple returned for their wedding, but I might take that as an omen. Three words for the groom; run, man, run.