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Man calls bank teller and asks her to spank him, spank him good: Lands in jail

Crawford County Jail / KNWA
Crawford County Jail / KNWA
"Spank me!" demanded this 50-year-old Arkansas man of his bank teller.

A man from Arkansas is likely completely mortified that you’re looking at his mug shot pic and reading his bizarre story at the moment, but no worries. If a 50-year-old man calls up your local female bank teller and demands a thorough spanking, then he has essentially yielded his right to privacy to some well-deserved criticisms for making viral online fodder.

Thus we have the story today of a Van Buren, Arkansas resident named Drake Parks, who according to Yahoo! Odd News on Friday, was so enamored by a bank teller that he phoned her up after seeing her and trotted out his best pick-up line: Spank me.

Here’s how the ruse went:

Drake had a window transaction with the young woman on Feb. 28. She later received a call, shortly before the bank closed, from a person stating he was “Drake Park’s father.” The so-called father (who was actually Drake), told the teller that his son had said some very, very bad things about the teller to him, and being the conscientious father that he is, wanted to make amends.

The caller went on to say that Drake should be punished, and recommended some butt-slapping action as the proper recourse. In fact, the caller told the teller that if she spanked his son, he would toss in $50 bucks.

Drake then pretended to get back on the line and voiced his agreement with the chastisement. When he gave the teller his address, she hung up and contacted the Van Buren Police Department.

Drake now sits in jail, arrested for “harassing communications,” and awaits his court date.

According to a spokesperson from the jail, there is a strict “No Spanking” policy in effect.

Perhaps when Drake gets out, he can meet up with this fellow, who seems to share a similar fetish-based need to humiliate himself:

Police arrest toe-sucking sex offender at a NC Walmart: Man mouthed woman's toes

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