Machete: Not just for gardening anymore

Written by Markus Robinson, Edited by Nicole Ashland
Markus Rating: 4 out of 5 Stars
Rated R for strong bloody violence throughout, language, some sexual content and nudity.
 

Does Robert Rodriguez (Planet Terror, Sin City) know his Mexican/American satire or does Robert Rodriguez know his Mexican/American satire? Famed director Robert Rodriquez has really outdone himself with his latest creation “Machete”, a once mock trailer in the double feature “Grindhouse” turned feature film. With a cast that includes the likes of Danny Trejo (Desperado) who plays Machete, Jessica Alba (Honey) playing his immigration official love interest, Michelle Rodriguez (The Fast and the Furious) who plays the revolutionary leader of an underground immigration network and Jeff Fahey (Planet Terror) who plays “The Man” of sorts. If one should count September as summer, then one could say that “Machete” is the most action packed “action” film of the summer (by far).
 

Here is the question for all of the readers out there: How many gratuitous female nudity scenes, mass decapitations, machine gun genocides, F bombs, and racial slurs can fit in one film and still maintain an R rating? Answer: “Machete” attempts to find out. In the spirit of the grindhouse films, ultra violence, female nudity for no good reason, and a storyline of revenge against “the man”, comes this Mex-sploitation satire, where a Federali turned vigilante nicknamed Machete mangles people with extreme prejudice with everything from a machete to a weed-whacker to any other gardening tool you can possibly think of. The story goes as follows: Here we have a Mexican Federal Agent (Machete) who is on the run after a Mexican drug lord slaughters his family and then goes after him. Machete decides to hide out in Texas posing as a day laborer, but when he is hired by a man to assassinate a Texas senator and then double crossed, Machete sets out for some revenge (having lots of sex alone the way). As Machete begins to ask questions, carrying only a machete and weed-whacker, nobody seems to take him seriously, but don’t they realize that “they are messing with the wrong Mexican”? Machete is basically Shaft, if Shaft were a Mexican day laborer.
 

Although “Machete” gets a little intentionally heavy handed at times with humorous asides on illegal immigration, hiring practices in America and thoughts on a Mexican uprising, it is all done with a witty and potent humor that could only be written by Rodriguez. Rodriquez also has created the most memorable supporting characters like having Steven Seagal (Under Siege) play the Mexican drug lord….yeah that’s right Steven Seagal plays a MEXICAN DRUG LORD, and honestly does a rather stellar job at it. The other side characters include, Lindsay Lohan (Mean Girls) playing, in a hilarious turn of events, a drug addicted woman who is promiscuous as hell, Cheech Marin (Up in Smoke) playing Machete’s shotgun wielding brother but he is also a Catholic Priest and Robert De Niro (Meet the Parents, Casino) as a Mexican hating politician running for Governor of Texas (sounds familiar).
 

Final Thought: Viewer beware, “Machete” is not for everyone. The humor is so dry and campy at times that it may lose its audience for much of the first half of the movie. And some of the scenes may be too violence for viewers who are unfamiliar with the Rodriguez/Tarantino style of directing (If you have never seen a Rodriguez film, check out “Desperado” first), I mean in “Machete” there is a scene where a priest (Father Cheech) is nailed to a cross, so use your best judgment on whether this movie is for you or not. I recommend that everyone who likes this type of film check it out, even though “Planet Terror” was better, you will not be disappointed.