Robert Rodriguez is mad as hell and he's not going to take it anymore. 'Machete' is obviously a backlash to the Arizona anti-illegal alien laws. Though set in Texas, 'Machete' is a call for all Mexicans, illegals or wannabes, to raise up their hoes, rakes, machetes and AK47s against the jingoistic racists who would close the border, to group their low riding cars into flanks of armed battalions against those who would gun them down or build a wall on the border, to fight the good fight. And leading them is Danny Trejo playing Machete himself. He's a good man, a bad ass, and stone cold, butt ugly. If you're interested in a bit of plot, Machete was once a Mexican lawman who's wife and daughter were killed by ambitious cartel boss Torrez (Steven Seagal). Machete ends up a few years later an illegal in Texas looking for day labor jobs. Instead, he's contracted to kill Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) who is running for re-election of a platform of 'Stop the vermin; close the borders.' Of course, Machete wouldn't just kill anyone, even this evil, Mexican hating Nazi. Along the way, we find Mexican American Immigration Agent Sartani (Jessica Alba) re-evaluation her position, underground legend 'She' (Michelle Rodriguez) moving up from giving food and finding work for new illegals to arming them, Lt. Stillman (Don Johnson) using border runners as target practice, and aide to the Senator, Booth (Jeff Fahey) working the power behind the throne. Cheech Marin is a breath of fresh comic relief as a priest who aids and abets his brother, Machete, with a well equipped church (including many closed circuits cameras and mics in the confessional).
Lindsay Lohan seems to have found time between parties,drug and alcohol induced stupors, court appearances, visits to jail and rehab to take on a little part in this film. She plays the daughter of one of the bad guys; she's drugged and drunk and wants to be a model with her own sex web site, and, with her equally immoral mother, has sex with strangers. Two words: type casting. But if it's worth $10 to you to see Lindsay's nipples, this film is a must.
Okay, the plot is only a vehicle for the mayhem and bloodshed we all expect and crave from any Rodriguez film. There can never be too much slaughter, and Machete's weapon of choice, the standby machete, as well as any other blade he can lay his hands on, including scalpels to weed whackers, has a very high splatter factor. (Actually, I can never enjoy a good machete killing since these were the tools of choice in the Rwanda genocide. Sorry for the serious note, but I couldn't help thinking of that as I watched the agility with which Machete beheaded and hacked -- and my heart sank.) Not to say there weren't a plethora of other weapons -- lots of big and little guns, small missiles, etc. If you enjoy a lighthearted romp through stylized slaughter, this film should satisfy you. If you seriously get off on it, run to a therapist.
Machete
Directors: Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez
Writers: Robert Rodriguez, Alvaro Rodriguez
Cast: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan
Time: 105 min.
Rated: R
Opens September 3
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