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Loving with a broken heart

Falling in love with a new man or reconciling with a current love interest cannot mend a broken heart. Believe it or not, choosing to fall in love or stay in love with a broken heart is actually self-destructive behavior. It will not heal heart-felt wounds; but in many cases it will just make it worst. The wounds of the heart are attached to the heart like a scab attaches to a wound.

Unfortunately, many women have a faulty belief that love will cure their sick heart. Sadly enough, the name of love bears the burden of so many self destructive and hurtful tendencies. If a woman chooses to distract herself with the illusion of love, she will only delay the inevitable. The inevitable is feeling the pain within and sorting through the issues that caused it. In order to experience true love, a woman must deal with any unresolved issues within her heart. She cannot ignore them and pretend to be oblivious to the fact that her heart has been broken in half.

It is difficult to squeeze love out of a wounded and empty heart. It is foolish for a woman to believe that entering into a relationship broken hearted, will make her whole again. In fact, women who choose to do that become even more fragmented. No matter how good of a man he is, he cannot bear the burden of healing a broken heart. Not to mention that many men do not know how to deal with matters of a woman’s broken heart, especially if he is not the man that broke it in the first place.

Instead of thinking logically, women who are hurt are yearning to stop the pain. For this reason, they look for relief or better yet someone to distract them from what’s on their mind. Some women know that it is a bad idea to start something that they know they cannot finish, but against their better judgment they do it anyway. If a woman chooses this path, she is selfish because she is not considering what this will do to her temporary love interest. She is also foolish because she knows the right thing to do, but she is choosing not to do it.

However, other women make the decision to move too quickly after a broken heart out of ignorance. Some women enter new relationships after a bad break-up with the faulty principle that their new love interest will love them into recovery. Unfortunately, relationships that are founded on this principle can cause a lot of unnecessary grief for both parties involved. This is not only true for women, but men too. Therefore, if a woman knows that a man has recently been hurt by his previous girlfriend, it is not wise to get emotionally or physically involved with him.

In order to recover from a broken heart, a woman must do a thorough self examination. She must analyze her beliefs and values. Furthermore, she must compare her values to her actions. For instance, if a woman values honesty, why would she stay in a relationship that is founded on dishonesty? This is an intricate and difficult process and many women cannot do this alone. Most of the time, women go to their girlfriends for comfort. However, it may not be wise to utilize friendships to conduct a self examination because it usually results in frustration because of the advice that friends typically offer. A self examination, does not allow for anyone else’s opinion so it is important to avoid discussing this issue with people who offer too much advice. As a result of this, it may be necessary to seek counseling from a professional or mentor. Remember that a mentor is not a friend.

Some women have moved past the stage of self-examination and they may look around and feel like they are alone. In times of heart-ache it appears like everyone is involved in a loving relationship. While logic tells a different story, the heart is convincing in times of distress. Women who feel this way should find a support group. You can find support groups at church or online. 

Visit http://www.sassypinkpeppers.com/home.asp to get linked up with some women online or find a church at  http://www.findachurch.com to find a church close to home. One of the best ways to heal is through the support of other women.

No matter how bad it hurt, don’t try to love with a broken heart. Don’t think that burying the hurt with distractions will erase the pain. Don’t make the same mistakes twice and maybe even a third time. Try it the right way this time. Take some time and go through the process of self examination. Don’t break another man’s heart or the same man’s heart because of selfishness. Loving with a broken heart causes more pain. Instead love with a whole heart, and enjoy the experience of being in love again.
 

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