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Love those biker stories - Part 6

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Snoopy's last episode left off with someone getting shot and the movie 'Rush' being made of the story. Today, Snoopy keeps telling us about movies he was in.

I was in 3 secular movies and one Christian movie. I used to really get a kick watching people who thought:

1. They were going to get to buddy up with the stars
2. They would be discovered and become instant stars

Like when I worked on a set with Tom Cruise. All these people were going to get a signature or just meet him. Yea right! You had to get thru the 5-6 bodyguards first.

The most fun I ever had was the movie I did that Stuart Margolion was directing. I hit the set first day and they had a breakfast layout to die for. It was 7am and already, it was going to be a good day! Stuart walked onto the set nodding and speaking to people and making them seem just as important as anyone.

The way I got hired is the real story here. I was just starting to can sweet pickles and I got this call from my talent agency:

“Snoopy, what are you doing?”

“Canning!” I retorted

The voice came back “I need you to go to ‘such and such address’, in Deep Elm to meet this casting Director”. She was ‘matter-of-fact’ with no hesitation or concern that I was canning.

“No can do.” I said, just as matter-of-factly’ as she was.

“Why?” She asked, sounding a little bum-fuzzled.

“I’m canning and I just put my cucumbers in their ice bath!” I snapped back thinking ‘This woman doesn’t have a clue about canning!’ and that really made me irritated!

“But you’ve got to go!” she said . . . still without a clue.

“NOT NOW! I barked back raucously.

“How long?” she pled.

“3 to 4 hours! I exclaimed.

“OK”, she said, “But they’re not going to be happy. Bye-bye.”

Two hours later, my phone rang again and it was the same woman saying “Snoopy! Is there ANY way you can go for this casting call? They’ve had all kinds of weird people show up in wigs and everything they really want to see you in person!” she pled.

“OK”, I finally said.

I had my canning process far enough along I told her “I don’t think my ole lady can screw this up. How do I dress?”

“Like you always do, hippie-biker sheik and hurry up!”

So I went to the place where I was ushered in by this drop dead gorgeous, 6ft tall, coulda-been-a-movie-star, 20 year old, assistant. She was another starry eyed wanna-be . . . oh well.

She took me to meet the Casting Director, who was a short, bad tempered, foul mouthed, Jewess that was having a bad day.

Side bar: Before anyone jumps to the conclusion that I’m racist against Jews, I’m Jewish/Cherokee and proud of my heritage.

The girl said to the Casting Director “Excuse me; the extra you wanted to see is here.”

The woman only turned half way around and said “Get him the f— outa here!” and turned back around.

The girl was stuttering, bbbbuuuutttt and said again “You wanted to see him!” However she got the same response. The poor, young thing was looking from me to the lady’s back.

The third time the Director turned and looked her in the eyes and screamed “I said get him out of here he doesn’t need a F---ing thing! He’s hired!”

At that I left and went back home to can. I went back when they were to shoot the part I was in but I never did see that sweet thing again. I hope she got a better job.

The movie was ‘Paramedic’.

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