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I really didn't know what to write about today. I went through tons of ideas – write a nutrition story, talk about overtraining, overeating, overindulging…but nothing was really jumping out at me. I asked several clients what they wanted to read about and the overall consensus was body image. Wow. Now, that’s a great topic. So this article is dedicated to all my clients, friends and readers who deal with their appearance issues on the regular. Here’s to you…
What do YOU see when you look in the mirror? Can you look at the reflection staring back at you without saying something negative about yourself? Do you obsess over your weight and still eat fried foods, cookies, cakes and candy only to go to the gym to work till you drop afterwards? Do you stare at the lines around your eyes and forehead wishing you could afford Botox? Are you a compulsive or bulimic exerciser? Do you have more than three different sizes of clothes in your wardrobe? Are you jealous that your best friend just Smart Lipo-ed her ass? How do you handle it when someone throws a compliment in your direction?
Quick, think of three things you love about yourself - right now - and write them down. We’ll come back to this later…
Why do we (women) have so many issues with our looks – especially as we age? Well, lemme ‘splain – A recent study found that 95% of non-eating disordered women overestimate the size of their hips by 16% and their waists by 25%, yet the same women were able to correctly estimate the width of a box. Ain’t that crazy? Or are we just nuts when it comes to our bodies? I do an exercise with my students where they have to tell me the first thing that they see when they glance at themselves in the mirror. Do you know that 99% of women CAN NOT say something NICE about themselves or their bodies? The immediate response is “Uch, I hate my belly” or “what the hell is this hanging shit under my arms?” I have to poke and prod and push and shove (alright, maybe not the shove part) for them to begin to even search for one thing they actually like. And usually it’s something like eyes or breasts (implants, of course). Every once in a blue moon or so I’ll get a student that says, “I love my thighs” or “I have a great ass”. So what the hell is wrong with this country that we have such hatred for the person looking back at us? Are we so consumed with the models, actors and singers of today that we’ve become obsessed with replacing our features with theirs?
Part of the problem, dear friends, is that society tells us to be young and thin and perky and……great, that works until you’re about 22. And then let the sagging begin!!! So we go to the gym and order that stupid bendy-jumpy thing on QVC at 2 am and get sucked into another one of those lose-weight-quick sprinkle-this-on-your-food-and-you-can-eat-whatever-you-want schemes. Or how about that new diet for brides to lose 20lbs for their weddings – by eating INTRAVENOUSLY! Only $1500 to walk around with a feeding tube up your nose. Are you frikkin kidding me??? None of that will work. You just have to learn to deal with what you have and WORK IT! LOVE YOUR SELF. How many times have you heard that? That’s because it’s true.
An old friend of mine used to be a Junior Olympic Figure Skater. She was borderline anorexic. Her parents kept her eating in check all the time – at ten years old, that’s surely no fun. One time during competition the parents and coaches of this team kept all the kids up in the hotel room with nothing to eat. The junior skaters decided to ration out their chewy vitamins because they were so famished. Have you ever heard anything so absurd? Starving ten year olds so they would be skinny enough to compete in the junior Olympics???? I’m disgusted. And we wonder why our teens have eating disorders and body dysmorphia (when you see your body differently than it really is or when you can’t stop thinking about a flaw within your appearance). When given the choice to continue on to the Olympics or go to college, my friend chose college (can’t imagine why…) and instead of the typical freshman 15, she gained 50 pounds. Well, what did you expect? Her father was a doctor and he prescribed her metabolism pills so she could be skinny again. 20 years later and she still has issues with eating and working out – although she has it pretty much under control and looks fab – but whose fault is it that she became obsessed? Society? Her fucked up father, mother and coaches? Wonder if she thinks it’s all her own doing. I’ll let you be the judge and jury on that one.
Here’s one about a past client I was training. You’ll love this – she wasn’t sure whether or not to hire a personal trainer. I offered her a three training session package to kind of try it out. I knew she would love it. After our first session, I found I was sorely mistaken. We went through all of the usual fitness evaluation questions up to and including surgical procedures. (For the record, we ask this to make sure we don’t aggravate any knee, back, shoulder injuries or if the client had a face lift, breast augmentation etc, we avoid training for 4-6 weeks). This woman had gone out of town for a while and had SEVENTEEN cosmetic surgeries performed. Can you say HOLY SHIT? I could not believe that someone would be so lazy that they would rather get 3 or 4 tummy tucks – yes, they needed to be redone and redone and redone – instead of working for it! Do you realize how much more satisfaction you get out of knowing that you did all that hard work yourself?! Needless to say, we did our three sessions and then she got a fifth tummy tuck. She said she felt like her stomach was getting a little puffy again. Also, she despised lifting weights. God bless that woman. Oh – and she was only 43.
I have so many more stories like these about women like you and me who have gone through trials and tribulations just to achieve their perception of the flawless body. I think all of us have distorted images of what perfection is and I think all of us have distorted images of ourselves. People always say it doesn’t matter what others think about you. True. It matters what YOU think about you. But that does not make it easier for us to love our figures and our aging process. And let’s not even bring up what men’s opinions of us are! Oh, shit, I just brought it up.
Ok, we’ve seen it time and time again. It’s ok for the guy to get fat and old, but that’s called aging gracefully. God forbid a woman should get a grey hair or an extra ounce of fat on her ass and it’s off to the races. I know men who are actually AFRAID of their wives or girlfriends getting fat!!! DO NOT GET ME STARTED.
Instead, I’m gonna give you the power RIGHT NOW. Here it comes – if you hate your thighs – don’t! Do something about, dammit! Get your ass in the gym and squat! I don’t care if you’re 22 or 82! If you can believe it, you can achieve it! If you hate your skin – don’t! Do something about it, dammit! (Proactiv is a number one seller for a reason!) If you hate your - blankety blank here – don’t! Do something about it, dammit! You getting the theme here, sisters?
Listen, ladies. And listen good! There is NO MAGIC PILL for losing unwanted fat. There is NO MAGIC CURE for aging. And there is NO MAGIC EXERCISE for achieving the perfect bod. I’m so sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But you want the truth? You want the answer? You want a permanent solution? Fine. Here goes. HARD WORK, DEDICATION, COMMITMENT. That IS the answer and that IS the truth. If you watch your nutrition, work out hard, drink plenty of water, lift weights a few days a week and get lots of rest, you can and will achieve your fitness goals. And you’ll be two inches taller, ten years younger and ten lbs lighter, I promise! (Ok, so that’s not 100% guaranteed, but you’ll SEEM all of those things, that I can assure you)!
So, did you write down the three things you love about yourself yet? Shame on you! I’ll help you –
1.
2.
3.
Fill in and email me at webs362434@hotmail.com so I can publish them in another article! It’s not an easy task, but you’ll be amazed at what you find out about yourself.
Until next time, I thank you and am grateful for your interest and your input! =)
s.s.y.
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