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Love note: 3 ways to nip infidelity in the bud

Here are tips from three experts who will help you nip infidelity in the bud and chase away the blues.

Think love.
Photo by Lintao Zhang/Getty Images

Be your mate’s cheerleader, Laurie Puhn, “Fight Less, Love More”

“If you are not your mate’s head cheerleader you are leaving the job open for someone else. Once your mate feels neglected, he or she searches for someone else to value him or her. That is when cheating can easily move in.

“The neglected mate tends to feel as if he or she is not in a ‘real’ marriage anymore and that’s all someone needs to find an excuse to cheat,” she adds.

Laurie Puhn is the author of Fight Less, Love More and a Harvard educated family lawyer and conflict resolution expert. (

Make a romance manual, Alisa Bowman, “Project Happily Ever After”

“Keep dating. Keep hugging. Keep touching. Keep saying ‘I love you’ in words and actions,” says Bowman. Think back to the early days of your relationship. What did her do then that he no longer does now?

“Think about your friends’ husbands, particularly those who are romantic. How do they romance their wives? Think about romantic men in movies and books. What do they do? Write it all down in a Romance Instruction Manual,” she says.

Then let the loving begin!

If you are dating someone online, make certain he is available – Julie Spira, Cyber-Dating Expert

“Go ahead and Google your date to find out more about him, but don’t let him know you have done so on a first date.

“To avoid being a transition person, you need to find out in the beginning where he stands and how available he really is to be in a relationship with you. The smartest way to defeat infidelity is to refuse to date a another woman’s husband,” says Julie Spira. Julie Spira | Cyber Dating Expert

Find a qualified marriage counselor if you suspect infidelity

Be cautious about the advice you follow. What does this mean? You may mistake depression in your husband for infidelity so you want someone who knows the difference.

If you are in a position where infidelity is at issue-- find trusted experts. You want someone with credentials, licenses, and the expertise to guide you into the decision that is best for you and your family.

Copyright 2014 Rita Esposito

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