We all, well most, want love. But the hard truth is to get it is messy and scary business. Firstly, finding anyone who you want to start the discovery journey with is quite a task. Then, you have to sort out the whole sex thing, compatibility thing, fit thing, and next thing. I mean the behind-the-scenes conversation you have with yourself, and your friends, to sort it all out is mind boggling. Wondering if he/she is right? Add to this whole wonder-journey the fact that others, more well-suited, might just be a match.com search away. So it gets messy. And quick.
Then if you invest time, love and effort it starts to get scary on top of the messy. To get by in our culture you must, at least, appear to be on top of your life. There is no room for vulnerability, fright, or wandering in the desert. Just watch one episode of The Bachelor and you'll see they quickly demonize the girls who can't take the anticipated exposure of their hearts. It's considered entertainment in our harsh culture but it's deeply sad and tragic that vulnerability and fear is used as entertainment.
So here you are, a year or more down the road of a romance, and no one speaks of the hard stuff. It's all suppose to go off as a journey of bliss and wonder. But if you want love you must be vulnerable and let the other in. You must be open to hurt and learning. You can't conduct a romance as an actor in a play.
How do you show you are human without scaring off your potential mate? How does anyone let someone in when we know they'll find the human stuff; scared, vulnerable - you name it.
Well you just do. It's like jumping in a cold lake. Just go. Don't stand at the edge and contemplate the cold. Go. Jump. Why? Because sooner or later this mate of yours will find out who you are and better to know if that's okay with them than to try to hide it.
It's a deep and abiding truth that love is messy and scary. Period. And if you accept that truth you may just finally have what you want - love.
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