In the beginning phase of a courtship you may have been completely swept off your feet while being ravished by affection and attention. This hyper focus felt intoxicating and romantic but over time has faded. Experts report the top reasons why couple’s separate are communication problems, followed by sexual infidelity and not spending time together. Communication in love relationships is a function of emotional connection. When people feel connected they communicate well……when they feel disconnected they communicate poorly.
Where the problems begin
There are certain obvious clues that suggest something is wrong in a relationship, such as abuse and emotional or sexual affairs. The problems that occur most often are usually a combination of more subtle issues that can destroy a relationship....mainly arguements. People don’t fight for lack of communication skills. They argue because they feel their partner doesn’t care or isn’t interested any longer.
Communication problems happen because you don’t like what the other person has to say. Even if you’re not talking to each other…..you’re still communicating. The silence states that you each know that you don’t want to hear what the other person has to say. A constant exchange of negativity can lead to judgmental and critical attacks on one another. This exchange continues to create more distance between the couple until they have little or no desire for sex and spend the majority of their free-time with friends.
With the constant display of disrespect and lack of appreciation displayed in the relationship emotional distance continues to grow. This can create a lack of trust. Your partner may feel a need to check emails, follow you where you go or check-in with who you say you spend time with. This behavior in a relationship can create a lot of tension or feelings of hopelessness. If this is a pattern you experience in your relationship couple’s counseling would be a helpful option to create a plan of repair and how to move forward.
Recreate the connection
Emotional connection is a mental state that begins with a resolve to show compassion and love. When two people discuss the concern openly….honesty increases. When honesty increases in a relationship you grow as an individual and closer together as a couple. Through this growth you are capable of reaching new intimacy and passion.
Being honest in a relationship involves risk. Living with another person forces you to grow-up and take on new responsibilities that evolve with commitment. Recognize this and the energy it creates. Look at your spouse and see the erotic lover, a passionate friend or simply a partner in life’s adventure. Embrace the possibilities you can create together.