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Love advice: To be forgiving and grateful, try these 4 steps

As we start the second week of the New Year, it might be a good time to put on those rose-colored glasses to forgive and be grateful. Set aside a few quiet moments just for you. Act as if you are about to engage in a serious conference call — with cell phones off. You will need an uplifting outfit or wild jewelry, two candles, and a child’s magic wand to set the stage.

Think loving thoughts.
Bethany Clarke/ Getty Images

Step 1: Dress in an outfit that makes you feel empowered, perhaps an outrageous 1940’s white satin robe, fluffy with ostrich feathers. Or a fun hippy outfit. Or a lounge suit with matching high-heel slippers. My aunt gave me her chunky jewelry and white satin robe and when I wear them, I can channel her joy. Doing this helps you step out of character and embrace new feelings.

Step 2: Light a forgiveness candle. Then acknowledge whatever conflicts you might feel. Forgive everyone who has created conflict in your life. Then remember to forgive yourself for feelings that anger you.

Step 3: Next light a gratitude candle. Express gratitude for yourself and those you love or wish to love. Make a list and be specific.

Step 4: Let go. Whatever is troubling you now gets banished with a wave of the magic wand. No matter how silly it seems, you can actually visualize the negativity or hurt dissipate. You might also catch yourself laughing.

So the next time you feel yourself walking down an angry or fearful path, remind yourself of your transforming moments and smile.

Copyright 2014 Rita Esposito

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