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Love advice: Believe 4 top reasons men say they cheat

When reading advice about infidelity, it is helpful to believe men's reasons for cheating. In compiling research from nationally respected scientists for Infidelity and Marriage - Deal Breaker or Wake-Up Call?, it was surprising to learn that there are very few reasons that men actually cheat. Although the statistics in the book are primarily from analysts working from the General Social Survey, funded by the National Science Foundation, four men seemed to capture the top reasons for cheating: lack of appreciation, genetics, variety, and change of appearance leading to boredom.

Listen to men say why they cheat, then try to rekindle romance.
Bethany Clarke/ Getty Images

When men tell us why they cheat, we should listen.

Lack of appreciation

M.Gary Neuman wrote “The Truth About Cheating, Why men stray and What you can do to prevent it.” Dr. Newman is a psychotherapist and Rabbi who is married and has five children. One of the surprising findings in his book is that men do not always cheat because of sex or lack thereof. Oftentimes men just need to feel respected and appreciated. Visit him at: The Official Website of Author M. Gary Neuman.


John DeVore gives us his perspective in Why men cheat -- his version. “We are just hopelessly addicted to that ‘new car smell.’ ... And that’s just part of it. If you want to blame someone for our cheating ways, blame evolution! We are hardwired to hunt, and to share our wicked cool genetic code with a world that demands that we do! The universe conspires to compel us to pursue that which retreats.”


According to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating, the number 1 reason for cheating is the desire for variety. “They’ve evolved the desire to be with different women,” he says. Adapted from: Why Do Men Cheat? 9 Reasons Why Men Cheat |

Change of appearance leading to boredom

Steve Santagati, author of 'The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate is convinced that men start looking around at others when the women in their lives get lazy or gain weight or just do not take care of themselves. Eventually they cheat out of boredom.

Do Santagati's words sound insulting? The fact is this – infidelity is insulting. But it does not have to be a deal breaker. It can be a wake-up call.

In Infidelity and Marriage - Deal Breaker or Wake-Up Call? by Rita Watson and Bill Mitchell, readers get accurate facts, action plans, expert interviews and marriage saving tips. The stories are true. The interviews are accurate. The message is serious. You can reclaim your marriage with integrity. Or leave with dignity.

Copyright 2014 Rita Esposito

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