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Love advice: 3 ways to fondness when a partner irritates you

Whenever we think we are finally in order and things are really going well -- except for those irritations from the love in our life -- it is time to think again. A little book called "Imperfect Spirituality" by Polly Campbell is one of those books that gently reminds us to take a closer look at ourselves. It is a book that helps us cultivate gratitude.

Be more loving
Be more lovingPhoto by Bethany Clarke/Getty Images

Relationship advice 1: Change the scenario

She reminds us of how easy it is to "fret and worry about all that our partner isn't doing right." She suggests that instead of letting our mind wander to that place where we list all of our irritations we move back to loving. She says, "Just a few minutes of focused fondness can ease a little relationship strife and promote better feelings." (page 147)

The book is by Viva Editions which also brought us a gem of a book by Mary Beth Sammons and Nina Lesowitz called “Living Life as a Thank you.”

Relationship advice 2: Focus on a happy photo

I often suggest putting a photo of you and your love on the refrigerator door to remind yourself of happy times. When you are feeling annoyed, instead of fretting, a few mindfulness moments to recap your partner's positive qualities will bring you to a happier and more grateful place.

Relationship advice 3: Express gratitude

Gratitude and appreciation are healthier than the anger that brews when you let someone else's little imperfections annoy you. Instead, wish them blessing, be gracious and you can quickly make the choice to kiss instead of scowl.

Accepting love

Now here is the difficult part -- imagine if your partner was making a list of ways that you can be irritating. How would you react?

Accept that fact that life is full of imperfections and joy comes from within. This is the best relationship advice we might give to one another.

Subscribe to the Love and Marriage Examiner for advice and up-to-the minute reports on the Twilight lovebirds. (This was adapted from my Love Daily series.)

Copyright 2014 Rita Esposito