What would you do if a child told you that he or she had been sexually abused?

For many children who dare to tell of sexual violations against them, the result is disbelief, especially if the accused abuser is a family member or a "respectable" adult within the family circle.  Sometimes, the telling in itself has dire consequences for the child with punishment from the confidante to shunning by other family members to serious physical harm from the abuser. Many children will never divulge these incidences because they have been threatened by the assaulter with danger to themselves or others if they ever say anything.

Layhla had experienced much physical abuse along with the sexually violating and degrading acts from her father and his friends.  She had been cowed into believing that worse harm would come to her and her little sister if she ever told on him. Over the years, there were a few observant people who asked questions or provided opportunity for the girl to talk.  For years, she would never say anything, but only look down at the floor.  No one ever pursued getting more information, and one more child was left to bear this dehumanizing violence alone for years.  She learned to cover up the bruises from the beatings and carry on as if nothing had happened.

The physical violence left Layhla's jaw misaligned, and she had corrective surgery on it when she was 17.  Still, she was petrified to talk about the abuse and the sexual violations.

As a teen, Layhla volunteered at the local hospital on weekends.  She would stay as long as possible, even working overnight shifts and sleeping in the lobby, to avoid being at home where she knew she would be beaten and forced into paid rape by her dad.  One time, she came in with facial scrapes and a black eye, and the head nurse took her aside and questioned her.  Layhla acknowledged the physical abuse, but said nothing about the rapings.

Social services personnel went to Layhla's home while she was in the hospital.  Both parents lied about the causes of the wounds, and they were believed.  The hospital was ready to discharge the girl to go home, but Layhla told them that she was suicidal, so she was admitted to the psychiatric ward.  Her mom showed up and made a statement that the dad "had never laid a hand on her", even though the staff had already seen physical evidence and knew that the teen was a "cutter".

During the time at the psych unit, Layhla began having ongoing flashbacks which continue to this day.  These episodes could come at any time, and began to affect her life. The volunteer coordinator at the hospital found out about the stay at the psych ward and fired her from volunteering.  This was the only place the young lady had felt safe, and that was stripped away from her.

Now, she really fell apart and began cutting herself frequently and seriously.  One time, her dad beat her so badly that Layhla feared for her life and kicked him off her for the very first time.  She ran away to a friend's home and called the sheriff. She was admitted to the state hospital for a month, where she still did not tell about the sexual abuse, only the physical. Even though she was treated poorly, the staff kept her secured there until the day before her 18th birthday.

Things were so desperate for this traumatized teen that she would run away from home at night and sleep in the graveyard. 

During this year, she moved to another state where she had a job.  Her dad followed after her with some of his friends, and coerced her to come back home.  Later, she left again for a different state, and in the midst of constant hospitalizations for stress related maladies, she began to talk about the sexual abuse.  She was able to get some help from the social services, and was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  However, she returned home, thinking things had changed, and to see her sister.  

The hoped-for changes had not happened, and more beatings and rapings followed. The internal anguish and despair and agony became unbearable, and Layhla began abusing cocaine to numb the pain.  At age 20, Layhla admitted herself to a battered woman's shelter where she again told about the sexual abuse from her father.  However, she did not mention the forced prostitution with other men.

Even though Layhla has been out of the home for four years, staying in shelters and safe houses, she has not begun to feel safe.  Her dad always finds out where she is, and will show up and park his car in the driveway when the director is away.  His friends will sit in their trucks out in front of the building.  Last year, Layhla tried to get a restraining order on her dad, but he came to court with his lawyer and whole family in tow.  Not only did this woman have to tell her story to the whole family, but she was accused by her dad of being "crazy", and she had no proof.  Consequently, no document was issued to the dad.

Layhla has gone for counseling off and on since 17, but feels that her town does not really understand the trauma with which she is suffering.  She knows of others who have been repeatedly sexually abused by one person, but would love to find another sex trafficking survivor in her area so she knows she is not alone.

Next:  The signs of sexual abuse that give a clue to the internal torment of victims