Earlier this week, I had the privilege of interviewing Karen Holland, LMFT of Reinventing Relationships. Communication in marriage is so essential that I thought I would interview another marriage therapist and get her perspective on communication in marriage and her experience. Enjoy the interview.
DMCE: Good afternoon Karen, what is the name of your practice?
KH: Reinventing Relationships
DMCE: How long have you been in practice?
KH: About 7 to 8 years.
DMCE: Is there a certain time of year when you are busier than others?
KH: January to May is really busy. Then it slows during the summer. People are generally happier during the summer months. Picks up some during the fall and drops off during Christmas.
DMCE: Why do you believe that it is busier during January through May?
KH: People look at the fact it is a New Year and they are waking up to more of what they want. There is more tension bubbling up. They are also looking at they will be getting a tax return and so the finances are more flexible in order to make a break. Also people want to wait until after the holidays.
DMCE: Karen, I would say if you made it through the holidays and you have STARTED into another year, then you might as well press through.
KH: I could see that perspective but the majority are saying now is my time to make the break once the holidays are over. I am sure you heard this or read it just like me that due to the economy a lot of people are staying together.
DMCE: Karen, I did hear that and I also saw where they were not happy but miserable. So I ask you, who does this really benefit?
DMCE: Karen, from your practice what have you seen is the number one reason for problems communicating?
KH: Poor connection is what I have found is the problem. Not feeling close to share the message. She said I am sure you have heard we kill each other for certain words. There are filters, emotional triggers. We have this whole past situation that plays out in our head when someone is talking and we are already thinking about how we are going to respond. Therefore, the communication is not even pure.
DMCE: Do you feel that this poor connection occurs more in newly engaged couples or those that have been married for a period of time?
KH: Believes that newly engaged are more connected than those that have been married for a few years. Reason is when you first fall in love, you overlook things and you tend to treat that person as a friend. Once you have been married five to ten years resentments come up. Things tend to get distorted and communication breaks down.
Come back where I will finish up this interview with Karen Holland, LMFT of Reinventing Relationships because we have only just begun.
If you are in the Metro Denver area and need a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist to aid you in your marriage communication, you can reach Karen at http://www.reinventingrelationships.com.