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Living With Cancer XXIII

Living With Cancer XXIII

It's Monday morning and the wake for my Mother is tonight. My Father and I were just hanging around the house and my dear old Dad tells me what is going to happen over the next couple of months. At first, he says he doesn't give a shit what I'm going to do with my life but if I stay at the house I will either go to college, get a job, or join the Army. I am also informed that I will be getting a step-mom in the next couple of months and that she and her son will be moving in. In other words my Father had found another family and I didn't fit in.

I told him that I was already signed up for the Army and that I would be reporting July 31st. I had my physical planned two weeks before that and if all went well I would be in. He said fine but I would be doing things around the house to pay my keep. In other words this was payback for not going with him when he moved out. Mom wasn't even stone cold and I was already eating shit from my Father.

The day went by quick and my cousin called and wanted to talk so I picked her up. We went and saw Mom at the funeral home. Mom looked great. They really did a good job. My cousin and I made up and drove around for awhile. I then went to my Grandma's to get changed. Next we went to the wake. I was not looking forward to this and I wasn't even stoned.

Everybody showed up. I even had friends that I grew up with and went to school with come to the wake. Family was all over the place and Mom's friends all showed up. I was in a daze. I wanted so badly to go to my car and get stoned but no one would let me. Every time I headed to the door someone in my family would come and drag me back in. The service went quick and I have no idea what Father said. I know he mentioned me cause I heard my name but I didn't hear why. I couldn't concentrate. All I wanted to do was go to the Airport and pick up my Aunt and Goddaughter who were coming in from England.

My friends came up afterward and said Hello, but I don't even remember what I said back to them. I don't think I said anything wrong but I do remember mentioning if they wanted we could go the car I could get us all stoned. I just remember I wanted to smoke like nothing else. Finally everybody started to go home and all the hugging was over. My Grandma told me it was time to go get my Aunt. Man was I out the door. I hadn't even started the car and my first joint was lit. I remember going out of the driveway leaving a big puff of smoke and it wasn't the car. I had the windows down and the spray ready. My Aunt didn't smoke pot and would've given me hell for picking her up stoned. I drove them back to Grandma's and was told to meet them there at the house for breakfast in the morning. I wasn't going in the limo but was still told to be there. I drove home relieved that one thing was down the drain and all I had was the funeral to endure. Yeah, that's all just the funeral of my Mother. Tomorrow was going to really suck.