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Living With Cancer XVIII

Living With Cancer XVIII

The beginning of 1979 was a terrible time in the house. We had a great time during the holidays. We all made it one of the best for my Mother. It was hard for her to get around now. She had to have a walker to steady herself. She had a day nurse come in to help. I would make breakfast and do any initial cleanup every morning. The nurse would get there about 8am and would stay till about 3pm. At first it was just the two of us helping out. The nurse noticed that I was taking off and coming back drunk or stoned or both and then a family member would stop by and stay for a awhile to help out. Sometimes it might be one of Mom's friends. This is when all hell started to let loose. People were accusing me of not being there for my Mother but with all the people that were coming by what the hell did they need me for. I was still the only one there during the night but it was getting worse. There would be times when I would get off of work, come home, and have to clean her up or help her to the bathroom. Before the nurse started coming around it was I who had the fun of cleaning my Mom in the morning or at least helping her out.

Finally, my Grandmother would come and stay the day and that meant my Aunt would come around. Now my Aunt was a bitch. It was she who tried to put a wedge between my Mother and I. Mom actually had to tell her to stop.

Look I'll admit it I wasn't the best wet nurse but I was only 17 at the time. I was literally on my own. Nobody gave a damn about me. I came and went pretty much on my own. I would go grocery shopping and cook for my Mom and do some clean up but it was everybody else with their two cents making life hell for us.

Finally one day in March I had had enough and called some people and said hey let's go for a road trip. I had the credit card for gas. About a hundred dollars that I was to use for groceries and I left Tampa with two other people. This was when all hell broke loose and wounds would remain open for decades. This was when family members would become enemies. This was when I finally said to hell with the world and to hell with God. If there was a God how could he put my Mother through all this grief and pain. This was when the war started.