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Living With Cancer XVI

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We left off with me getting busted for skipping school for half a year. Dean Brown helping me out and my Mother shipping me off to my Aunt and Uncle for the summer in England. I arrived there on a Saturday morning and was picked up at Heathrow Airport. As we traveled through London to get back to Mildenhall where my Uncle was stationed. We were almost involved in a bombing of the House of Commons. The Irish Republican Army had been at war with the Brits for decades and we drove by the Commons and missed the commotion by about 10 minutes. A nice way to be welcomed to England. I remember the drive up to the base and I took all the scenery in that I could. I loved where I was at in England and to be honest I loved England. It was new and exciting and it was far from the cancer. Back in the States my Mother was undergoing her second round of chemotherapy.

I know what I'm about to say is wrong but I was so glad to be away from the cancer. For the first time in my life I didn't have to deal with it and it felt good. I was in England and I was going to enjoy it as much as I could. That first day I didn't get much sightseeing done as jet lag finally took it's toll and I was fast asleep.

The next day we went walking around the base and the countryside. Man it was easy to fall in love with the place. We eventually made it into the village and it was a blast. I made it to my first British Pub and had my first Guinness. You see at 17 I was allowed to drink in England. I would make the three mile trek to that pub many a time before the end of the summer.

I received news that my Mom was having a bad time with this round of chemo and it worried me as to what it would be like when I came home.

While in England I made it to Dover, London, Ipswich, and many other places. Each time falling in love all over again. I dreaded going back to the states. It wasn't only the cancer but having to go back to school and then figuring out what I was going to do after high school. I was in England for almost two months. I knew when I left I would be back just didn't know when. It's been 35 years since I was there but I will make it back some day.

The worst part of my trip was when I got off the plane back here in the states. We had family from New Jersey down at the time I came home. It was what I saw when I looked past everybody. It was my Mother. She looked like a skeleton. The chemotherapy had taken it's toll on her. She knew, and when I saw her I knew it was close. Death was at the door and the worst time of my life was about to begin. I was scared. I mean I was faced at the age of 17 with hard core reality, and it stunk. I was really scared. I wanted to break down and cry at the airport. I had to help my Mother walking as she couldn't walk very well. I wasn't ready for the responsibility that was about to unfold. That was the last summer that I have been happy on this planet. Every day since has been a chore just to remain sane. When I got off the plane and walked down the aisle to my Mother I was suckered punched by God and I was mad at him for the next 5 years.

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