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Living With Cancer XII

Living With Cancer XII

For the last several installments I have been writing about my Father moving out when my Mom was dying of cancer. It took the wind out everyone's sails. My Mom was devastated. I was like a wild man. My family hated him. Both of my parents sides hated him for what he did.

He had met someone and formed a friendship. He loved my Mom but he was not strong enough to stay and watch her die. I have to admit it. I don't know how I survived. I mean my family would come around and say oh your not doing this right or your not doing that right. If they would have just stayed away things would have been much better. I know they were just trying to help but their emotions got the better of them.

My Mother's dying tore a big part of the community up. My Mom was very well known here in Tampa. She volunteered for the American Cancer Society. She helped give seminars about living with cancer. She was all over the place. The funny thing was that most people wouldn't have known she had cancer unless they were told.

When my Father moved out many people were stunned. They never thought my Father would do such a thing. For years I hated him. I did everything I could to embarrass him. I wanted to make him pay for the pain he put us through. Then one day I heard my Mom say he is still your Father. It was some 12 years later when I finally forgive him. It took time to heal that wound.

Look if you are going through some of these same things it would be wise to take heed to some of what I say. It may just help you get through this sad period and you may not do the same stupid things I did. I'm not saying that you will not have bad feelings against a parent who don't live up to your expectations, but if you can find your way to forgive it will help you. In those years that I didn't forgive my father i couldn't get my life together. Once I did forgive life seemed to become normal again.