Listening to what the guys are saying: Part III and beyond

It shouldn’t be assumed that I only listen and learn from guys when I am disappointed, heartbroken or annoyed by them. Luckily for me, every time there is a passing of despair towards males, one of them does something to lift my spirits and allows me to regain full faith in them once more.

In my experiences with them, whether it is my family members or friends, strangers, crushes or loves, there are certain things all the men in my life do not like to admit to:

1. Silence makes them nervous. Don’t be fooled by their ESPN-tuning-you-out-while-staring-at-the-tv gaze. They do not like awkward silences. They babble on about things I end up tuning out. They ask me if anything is wrong again and again and again, like a nagging…girl. And, finally they begin opening up and revealing answers to questions I didn’t even ask. Making men talk. It’s my party trick. The stories I’ve heard, the things I didn’t need to know, the information I’ve found out. All because they can’t figure out a normally chatty girl being so quiet!

2. They worry about what they wear. I know how long it takes for me to get ready to go out, whether it is to a movie, on a date, to work or a special occasion: 30 minutes, 45, if I’m blow drying my hair. Guys on the other hand only think they know. What they think will take 20 minutes, turns out to be twice that, three times in some cases. It’s because they procrastinate and have trouble picking a shirt or a shoe. All your shirts are striped button-downs. All your shoes are black or brown. How hard can it be?

3. They know how to make a girl feel loved. My brothers are very good at this. My older brothers gives great advice, never fails to tell me when he is proud of my accomplishments and always asks what he can do to help. I never have to ask, he always offers first. My younger brother has brought me Sheridan’s for no reason at all on more than one occasion and always makes sure to tell me when I look pretty. If I asked him to change my flat tire in 100 degree weather, he'd do it. He did. Thoughtful words, frozen custard, and an occasional tire change, the simple things make all the difference.

4. They know when to let me have a moment. I’d say I’m happy-go-lucky 95% of the time. But there is that 5% margin where I just feel blah. I’ve been known to be snappy, whiny, bratty, sometimes all three rolled into one. And instead of calling me out, the males of my life just let me have my moment. They don’t sum me up by my imperfections. They don’t get fed up with me. They let me have my meltdown and then let us all move on.

I celebrate men. Why would I spend so much time trying to figure them out if I didn’t? They’ve helped me learn to love and be loved. They’ve taught me how to stand on my own and when to sit down and shut up. They are equal parts aggravating and amazing, a perfectly imperfect balance I will forever love and adore.

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