During the recent MTV VMA’s Kanye West debuted his song, ‘Runaway’ which is a toast to all the <insert male descriptive profanity here> and his lyrics advise to ‘run away as fast as you can’. When I was in college I met a Kanye West, a guy who told me that he was ‘one of a kind’ that he was just his ‘own person’. Since then I’ve met a handful of guys who have also described themselves in this same way as being a ‘one of a kind treasure’, as if I have tripped and stumbled upon the pot of gold at the end of the male jackpot rainbow.
I’ve learned over time that this disclosure from guys is just their way of trying to excuse their unbecoming ways. They have a ‘deal with it’ attitude that they serve to every passerby who will listen, girls especially. They find it exciting to be rogue and misunderstood and out for oneself, which in my college days seemed alluring, intriguing and something I wanted to figure out, but as time wears on and the more I see the carbon copies being spit out, it’s less a novelty and more an amusement or annoyance, depending on the situation.
However, I'm thankful for my Kanyes because everyone makes mistakes, whether it's them or me and I've learned:
- Do not read into anything a guy says. They do not give much thought to what they are saying to you at any given time. You know why they apologize? So you stop yelling. They figure out the actual source of the problem much later.
- Do not go against your instincts. Instincts are what tries to warn you from the things you do not want to see. They will save you from insecurities, needless fighting and wanting proof that the guy you care about cares about you in the same way. If he really does, you wouldn’t be asking yourself or him so many questions.
- Do not keep quiet. No need to pick at every little thing or not allow mistakes to be made, but if something bothers you and you keep quiet, the more it builds up and then comes out at a really inopportune time like in the middle of dinner. One minute you’re cutting up steak, next minute you feel like stabbing someone with the knife. Do not let this happen to you.
- Do not compromise yourself. Sometimes we don’t realize we're doing it, because that’s what you do in a relationship, right? Yes, you do MAKE compromises, but you don’t change your values, ideals or what makes you so great because another person can’t see it. Know the difference.
See, I always find
And I always find
Yeah, I always find somethin' wrong
- Do not expect change. Everyone has the ability to change, but not everyone takes advantage of the opportunity. With that being said, changing your own perspective is something you can control. It will either help your relationship or help you see you don’t need to be in the relationship you are in.
Everyone will run into their own Kanye.
And I just blame everything on you
At least you know that's what I'm good at
And when you do, you just have to learn what you can. Keep an open mind, but set your limits. Sometimes even 100% of your effort won't work, so it's best to concentrate that effort into something or someone positive. Truthfully, the Kanyes probably wouldn’t notice either way.