Celebrity is not for wimps. As the threshold of "celebrity" sinks to subterranean levels, stalking celebrity news has morphed from being a light-weight entertainment item for talk show hosts and gossip columnists to downright blood sport.
Using celebrities as punching bags is certainly nothing new. I'm sure Cleopatra had some paparazzi hiding behind the dunes, chipping their pictures in stone. Of course, she could have them staked to an ant-hill if she didn't like the coverage.
Today we have "serious news sources" asking you to vote on who has the "hottest mug shot." We can even compare which of Lindsay Lohan's four mug shots shots look the best.
To be sure, the behavior of out-of-control young stars is entertaining. They look good when arrested, except for Nick Nolte and Rip Torn. They seem to be such egomaniacs they make Mussolini look like Steve Urkel, and their insanely reckless behavior is camera-ready for big yuks.
One of the dumbest quotes ever—the only philosophical statement I know of that appears in both Steel Magnolias and Conan the Barbarian—is Friedrich Nietzsche's oft-repeated, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." With apologies to absolutist, existential post-modernists everywhere, sometimes what kills you makes you weaker, wounded, ruining your life forever and, in the case of modern celebrities, may cast you into the outer darkness of third-rate reality TV and shopping mall openings.
Some survive it. Some don't.
One of the most compassionate, touching statements about helping celebs when they're down—even if they are pampered and self-centered—comes from an unlikely source: talk-show host Craig Ferguson. During one of his monologues, Ferguson gave an impassioned plea for Britney Spears, from one alcoholic to a potential one. He said, "She clearly needs help." He wasn't joking.
So go ahead, laugh. It sells papers and web sites. Celebrities are ridiculous, just as we might be if we were twenty years old, beautiful, surrounded by sycophants telling us we're gods, and with unlimited resources and lawyers to hang ourselves. That's entertainment.
Comments
Amen, brother!
I love the fact that you put Steel Magnolias and Conan the Barbarian in the same sentence. I want to see a mixed sequel starring both casts. "Conan 3: Steel Destroyers!"
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