Letting the past stay in the past (Photos)

One of the most difficult things to do is to let the past stay in the past. But in order to embrace the new life that is ahead and in order to live a life that is worth living, leaving the past behind is something that has to be done.

Reliving the past is the culprit to enjoying life to the fullest. It is the culprit of regret, stagnation and depression. It is also known as the "dream killer."

We are the ones in control of our lives and we decide how long we are going to remain in the state that we are in. No one has control of that but us. We can watch years fly through tear stained eyes or we can watch the years fly by with dry eyes filled with hope knowing that the pain won't last forever (if we don't let it). Regardless of what we decide to do, time will fly by and won't stop flying by just because we're hurt. The sun will continue to rise and fall, bills will continue to be due, the seasons will continue to change, and the years will continue to go by.

Those who have overcome adversity have several things in common. A few of those commonalities are: accepting things that they cannot change, taking responsibility for their own lives and happiness, refusing to keep talking about and dwelling on the things or people that hurt them. When we accept things that we cannot change does not mean that we excuse what happened to us. It is that we recognize that this did happen and there is nothing that can change it...it happened. But we can choose to move on and not stay there and allow what happened to keep us in the same state.

At one point, those who have overcome adversity stopped rehearsing what happened. This is not counting therapy or confiding in a confidant where talking about what happened is a part of the healing process but the constant spewing over the situation only deepens the wound and causes the wound to grow cancerous. This is unhealthy mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. One day, we're going to have to stop talking about it.

But the most important and hardest things all of these people have chosen to do is to...forgive. Yes, forgive. This is the most difficult part but it is also the part that will free us. When we live in a state of unforgiveness, we are held in bondage, not the person that offended us or hurt us. More than likely, they have gone on with life and probably don't even care about the pain that they caused. The amount of time we remain in unforgiveness is the amount of time we will remain in a state of captivity that we have placed ourselves in and whenever we are fed up enough, all we have to do is pull out the key and unlock the door. And we cannot forget to extend forgiveness to ourselves.

Decide to forgive today and enjoy a new life!

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, Richmond Relationship Counseling Examiner

Tauchanna Gregory, an educator and counselor by trade, helps others explore what it means to be involved in and how to function in healthy relationships. You may contact Tauchanna with your comments and questions.

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