.jpg)
David Letterman may face his blackmailer in court, which would be awesome
Yesterday, we ran an article about Letterman blackmailer Joe Halderman's attempt to get his charges thrown out of court. He apparently failed. But now we've got some details on the hearing, and it turns out he didn't just fail, he FAILed. The original story's below, along with an update, so read it all if you missed yesterday's post, my gentle Examiner readers...
ORIGINAL STORY BELOW:
This writer's long-since been a fan of David Letterman and "The Late Show", so that places me firmly in opposition to Robert "Joe" Halderman, the former "48 Hours" producer that tried to make a buck blackmailing CBS' snarky late-night host. What a scumbag. Here's what he looks like, in case you forgot:
As we all know by now, Halderman's brilliant extortion/blackmail/"I was just selling a screenplay!" plot didn't pan out. Come to think of it, it's probably one of the more EPIC FAILs of the year, right up there with "The Balloon Boy" and the "Wolverine" movie. And now it looks like Halderman's headed to trial:
Just in: The David Letterman case looks like it's headed for trial. Manhattan state Supreme Court Justice Charles Solomon refused to throw out an attempted charge against the producer, Robert "Joe" Halderman, reports AP.
That's from a USA Today article about the situation. For those unfamiliar with fancy lawyer-speak, what that says above is, "Halderman's screwed and must come up with some sort of explanation as to why he'd be trying to blackmail someone unless he wants to end up in prison". Here's what else USA Today had to say:
The case spurred Letterman to tell viewers in October that he had slept with women on his staff, Letterman could be called to testify about his private life. Defense lawyer Gerald Shargel said he was "perfectly willing to put it in front of a trial jury." A Letterman lawyer has said the comedian would willingly testify. Next court appearance: March 9.
Oh, man: so, Letterman might end up testifying in court? Willingly? You just know-- based upon the way that Letterman decided to handle this situation (i.e.-- telling everyone what he did and owning up to his indiscretions, something in awesomely direct opposition to what Halderman expected would happen)-- that Letterman's eager to see this dude either A) paying a ridiculously large fine, or B) behind bars. We're hoping for a little bit of both around these parts.
UPDATE: Now we've got some details on what happened in the courtroom (more detail than we had yesterday, anyway), and it turns out that Halderman tried to apply the classic "But what about Tiger Woods' skanky mistresses?" defense, the only defense used almost as often as the "Insanity Defense". Here's what they're saying about it over at Defamer.com:
Halderman had reportedly tried to defend his alleged extortion of Late Show host David Letterman on the grounds that Tiger Woods' mistresses accepted hush money, too, so it sholdn't be a crime for Halderman to do the same. Also, he was only trying to "sell" a "screenplay" to Letterman about a philandering late-show host, so, you know, First Amendment and shit. No dice. Justice Charles Solomon wrote, "Since the defendant is not being prosecuted for authoring either a book or a screenplay, his constitutional right to free speech has not been impacted."
Bwahaha, oh, Joe, you truly suck. Did Halderman really think that was going to work? Ladies and Gentlemen, when you think "Epic Fail", be sure to think "Joe Halderman". What a maroon. Anyway, stay tuned for more on this as it becomes available, my precious snowflakes. And feel free to leave comments below concerning your opinion of Letterman, Halderman, and Tiger Woods' mistresses.
While you're waiting on the next bit of info on this scandal to arrive, be sure to hit the "Subscribe" button up top to get all the Comedy Examiner's articles delivered straight to your email, free of charge, the moment they're published. Why, just look at all the fun you've been missing while you weren't already signed up:
RED BAND TRAILER FOR SNL'S "MACGRUBER" MOVIE ARRIVES IN ALL ITS NSFW GLORY (WITH VIDEO)-- in which we check out the trailer for the "MacGruber" movie. Be forewarned: there's naughty words.
FUNNY VIDEO: HAVING ALREADY BEEN LABELED A "HO" AND A "PIMP", CONAN O'BRIEN TAKES ON A NEW TITLE (WITH VIDEO)-- in which Conan O'Brien gets the title of honorary "Black Man" for...well, you'll see. Click the link, suckers!
BEHOLD: THE BEST "STAR WARS"/"FRESH PRINCE"-RELATED PRANK YOU'LL SEE ALL DAY (WITH VIDEO)-- in which we deliver you, the gentle Comedy Examiner reader, the funniest prank we've seen all week.
JAY LENO EXPLAINS THAT "IT'S ALL JUST BUSINESS" ON HIS SHOW, TRIES NOT TO APPEAR TO BE THE TOOLBOX HE MOST CERTAINLY IS (WITH VIDEO)-- in which Jay Leno tries not to be the bad guy, but still comes out looking like a douche.
(photo: cbs.com)
Comments