The immediate reaction after reading Dr.Phil’s now defunked tweet about drunk sex was heard online and off. It’s a case respect, and knowing no boundaries.
If you missed it yesterday Dr. Phil now joins the celebrities who tweet and then take it back. Dr. Phil McGraw’s twitter account sent out, “If a girls is drunk, is it OK to have sex with her? Reply yes or no to @drphil #teensaccused. The 140 character torpedo shell is a serious topic that no one takes lightly, lawyers, Change.org and the general population replied with outrage. It’s a serious topic and the tweet was meant to get people to talk.
Teens can’t consent to sex sober or not
The word “Girl” sounds like Dr. Phil is talking about a minor, a female underage, which has serious implications all in its own. The hashtag #teensaccused, again reinstates minors. So the conversation Dr.Phil is implying is one about teens, drinking, and unconsentual sex. The topic gets hairy when adults talk about it, but only in some arenas, while in others it’s a given, drunk is hands off.
Ask any woman and they will tell you drunk sex is rape
If you Google consensual sex you will find a wide range of definitions, many of them ore “old school” definitions of consensual sex and are now considered rape. Is it the lack of a clear definition on men’s websites and magazine that get confused? There are people who intentionally rape but some who would not have the sex if it meant it was rape.
Old school definition of what consensual sex is
“Unless a person says no or puts up a resistance by fighting back, etc. the act is considered consensual.” This is not consensual sex. Many drunk women and men freeze up, when being sexually violated without consent, that’s the body’s refusal to consent. By this old standard unless the person, in Dr. Phil’s tweet a “girl” is screaming and kicking for her life, it’s okay.
What is consensual sex
- Consensual sex is what goes on between two consenting adults, both verbally and physically.
They are both ready, willing and able to have sex. They are both excited and happy at the thought. IS the other person proactively kissing and touching you or do they only move when you ask them to?
Yes in a fearful voice could be shyness or they may be scared. You need to follow up with further questions to find out what it is.
What may be thought of as consensual but is actually rape
- Marital sex when one person wants it and the other one doesn’t is not consensual sex. Marital rape is a crime as of 1993. Your partner is not your object or possession.
- Drunken or incapacitated sex when one person is conscious and the other is not, is not consensual sex. Many people operate their lives under the mix of drugs and alcohol , it’s easier to take advantage of them when they are in a semi-conscious or unconscious state or even too intoxicated to communicate effectively. Do not cross the line. The key is to maky sure it is clearly and openly discussed or you are in violation of their body. It’s that simple.
- Sex with a minor-statutory rape, there is no mistake as to why this term is called rape. The young are rewarded special protection under this law. Any sex of any kind with a boy or girl, is considered not consensual when it is with a minor. Advertised sex with a minor or prostitution is not consensual sex. Now its statutory rape and solicitation which is human trafficking.
- When one person withdraws consent after initially saying yes. Believe it or not this one ends up in court just as often. Some people feel entitled and still continue on regardless the other person has changed their mind. It’s still rape. Many women change their minds for various reasons, it’s painful, bored, abusive. Taking back consent means no.
It doesn’t matter that you didn’t intend to rape. If the other person feels raped, its rape.
To get the latest updates from National Holistic Health Examiner Tina Ranieri ‘click’ the subscribe button above. To view her body of articles ‘click’ Tina Ranieri, Atlanta Holistic Health Examiner, or Atlanta Fishing Examiner.