"Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up" 1 Corinthians 8:1
How often difficulty in adjusting to the changes in the couple's life results in disagreements? The couple may start complaining about each other's opinions or the way a problem should be solved. One may have a sophisticated view about the problem and the other simpler view. One may view the other as "too analytical" or overcritical, and the other may view a partner as "simple minded". One may view the problem as just a passing issue, and the other views the same problem as one that could become catastrophic. Yet one may utter that the significant other is too "bookish", while the other may utter that the partner "just does not know". He may utter that she is too emotional and she may utter that he is a dud.
He may utter that she is unintelligible; and she may say he just does not make sense. He may utter she just has no experience with these kinds of problems; she may say he is exaggerating to make excuses for other issues. He may deny the other issues; she may persist about it. He may become silent; she may attack and demean him for being indifferent all of a sudden. He may try to exist; she may throw a pillow. However funny the above may seem, the delicate feelings in both partners may had been wagered against the battle for superiority in knowledge. Whether the conduct may be labeled as arrogance, conceited, condescension, hyper-pride, superciliousness, self-importance, or egotism, there is yet an element of passion that seems to fuel the feud.
The unaware feelings neglected, seemingly move stealthily to agitate and stir up the troubled minds. The disconcerted couple argue not in reference to the feelings but in reference to knowing and unknowing about a common problem. As matter of concern may be that the trouble may not even be about the that problem solving knowhow, but may really be about the gaining access to the feelings. The battle within to identify the reality of the feelings being avoided may be fueling the seeming intellectual war fare. Avoidance of knowing about the creeping, distressing, feelings would form into a reaction, knowing more about solving the problem than the other person. Is the couple's quest for knowledge superiority really about wanting to know what they are feeling- may be missing love feelings?