Once a lesbian couple or individual decide to have a child, there are some big decisions to be made. First, do they want to adopt a child in need, or do they want to carry a biological child?
Currently in Minnesota, there is not a specific law stating that a lesbian or gay couple may or may not adopt a child. The law here is ambiguous, and the success of an adoption will greatly depend on a cooperative adoption agency, as well as a cooperative judge in the district courts.
If a biological child is desired, there are a few options: a known donor with at-home insemination, a sperm bank with at-home insemination, or a sperm bank with in-clinic insemination. All of these options carry their own pros and cons.
Known donor
A known donor can certainly be the cheapest option. A sympathetic friend or relative can donate semen free of charge, if that is the arrangement made. The benefits to knowing your donor can be knowing their physical attributes, having access to their family medical history, and potentially having a male co-parent, if that is desired. However, this scenario can also have serious complications. The donor may not want any kind of custody at the time of the insemination, but what if that changes later? He may have a legal claim to the child based on biology. Legal agreements are recommended in this arrangement.
This option also requires a lot of effort and has a lot of room for error. The potential mother needs to carefully track her fertility to determine the best time each month to inseminate. Also, the logistics of the actual insemination can be tricky at home. Travel plans could interrupt, if the bio-mom or donor is away during her fertile days, which will prolong the process.
Sperm bank with at-home insemination
Sperm banks offer a means to pregnancy that is anonymous and are usually guaranteed safe. Online searches allow you to read about their donors' hair color, height, ethnic background and other characteristics. Many searches also allow you to save your favorites to compare at a later date. There can be high costs to using a sperm bank. One vial of sperm can cost from $200-500, and you will still need to pay to have it shipped-- very quickly, and in a liquid nitrogen tank to keep the frozen sperm from thawing. Frozen sperm have a more limited life-span than fresh sperm, so there is little room for error.
And again, at-home inseminations require a lot of planning, a few tools, and a lot of care. Not that they are impossible! The idea of having one partner inseminate the other in a familiar and safe environment can be very appealling.
Sperm bank with in-clinic insemination
This option offers the most control over potential complications. It will require many trips to the clinic for blood tests and ultrasounds, as well as fertility charting, so that the doctor can determine a plan of action. The plan may also include fertility control drugs, such as Clomid and progesterone, to control the timing of fertility. Again, the donor sperm is picked out through a bank and can be delivered to and stored at the clinic.
A clinic may seem a cold and un-sexy environment for creating a pregnancy, but it does offer the most control and professionals who are focused on a successful outcome. Insurance coverage is recommended for this option, because the tests and in-clinic services will quickly run into thousands of dollars.
Here in Minneapolis, we have a very GLBTQ-friendly clinic, The Center for Reproductive Medicine. They have a few locations throughout the Twin Cities. They are extremely respectful to lesbian couples and will help you make all your decisions.
http://www.ivfminnesota.com/index.html
A sperm bank is also nearby, in Roseville, MN. On their website, you can search their bank for an ideal donor, order vials, and make shipping arrangements. They also have a sister-bank in Fairfax, VA, and donor sperm can be ordered through that bank's stock.
Comments