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Lesbian attraction to men?


http://alaiwah.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/

Yes, you heard me. There are lesbians, who identify as lesbian who are attracted to men. The first question that may enter your head is “wouldn’t that make her bisexual?” Not necessarily and here’s why.

Very few of us fall into the two boxes of lesbian and straight. There’s some leeway in between. I personally believe that ten percent of people are truly homosexual, ten percent are truly bisexual, and everyone else falls into some variation in between.  For instance, a woman can identify as lesbian, but fall into the 70/30 range where they would be seventy percent more likely to sleep with a woman and thirty percent likely to sleep with a man. I’m not a scientist by far, but based my thinking on the Kinsey scale. He developed it in 1948 for men, and 1953 for women. To take the Kinsey Scale quiz, click here.


 


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That may make many of you feel “uncomfortable” and even angry. How dare I question your sexuality? Some of you are probably questioning where you fall into. Even people who are “straight” question their own sexuality – wondering if they are a 70/30, or 80/20. I’m not questioning anything, just making a point that sexuality isn’t always cut and dry. It isn’t always black and white. Sometimes, more than not, there’s a lot of gray area in between. Whether you want to admit it or not is up to you.

This is a touchy subject in the lesbian community because we’re an exclusive all girl community. Go outside of that, and you’d risk being banished and ridiculed. Isn’t that discriminatory? Why would a group of people who are discriminated against, discriminate within their own community? Some say it’s because of the gross out factor – going behind a man makes some women physically ill. Some just want to be with a woman who can know, without a shadow of a doubt that she’s only into women. Psychotherapist, Kali Munro has some answers to why lesbians don’t allow men into their exclusive group in her article,  Are Some Lesbians Attracted to Men, where she takes on the hard question of why?

According to Dr. Muro, lesbians want their relationships to be validated. To be taken seriously. “In a world where we are told that lesbian relationships are a fad, a phase, less significant than straight relationships, don't last, are unhappy, unstable, and lacking because there is no male involvement, and that all we need is a "good…." it can be hard to feel open to lesbians or bisexual women who want, or do have sex with men.” 


http://www.celebritysmackblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/


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There are some lesbians who are strictly, unequivocally attracted to women. So, no need to rush out and take a quiz to find out what your sexuality is. But, I’ve known lesbians who have an attraction to men – not all men, just some.  And no, they don’t have to be metro sexual men, or the pretty boys. They can be your regular guy on the block. It’s normal to feel the “I’m just attracted to him” emotions as a lesbian. That means that you’ve found a guy that you have an emotional connection to that can spur into something physical. It can happen, and I think it happens more than our community wants to admit. Is there a lesbian who wouldn’t want to try out Brad Pitt just once, or Shamar Moore, or even Morris Chestnut? Maybe it’s just me (laugh out loud).  It does not take away from your sexuality. It just expands it a little.

So, if there are some lesbians out there who are having conflicted feelings about being attracted to a man; or having fantasies about men, don’t let it worry you or bother you. You’re still “normal”. You’re still a lesbian. Even if there are others who want to place you in a category or box. It’s not about what others think of you; it’s what you think of yourself. I’m starting a revolution. Let’s get rid of all boxes, all categories and just be. Simply, just be.

Until next time….
 

 

Comments

  • Victor--Seattle Singles Scene 4 years ago

    Good points Tye! I never thought about people being degrees of homosexual and heterosexual until I read your piece. But it makes sense. The experiences of the gender bending population shows the line between male and female is not as clear cut as a lot of people want to believe it is. There are a lot of transsexual females who can share stories about heterosexual males seeking them out precisely because they're not like most females who've been female from birth!

  • Alaina L. Lewis 4 years ago

    Nice read my dear! And very informative in this direction because I always assumed that lesbians ONLY were attracted to other women, quite like people ASSUME heteros are only attracted to the opposite sex which as most heteros know thats a lie.

    Case in point... I'm in love with Kerry Washington! HA! : ) She's about the only woman I have ever been attracted to, but that doesn't mean I'm going to leave men behind and change my dominating preference because her fine self makes me feel a little confused! HA! Now ad her to my list with the rock, and if you get her number, have her call me too!

    Keep writing, I love to read your work be it script or article!

  • Ashley 4 years ago

    I agree with both articles,"Male Lesbian" and "Lesbian's who want to be with men". As I think of myself as a male Lesbian,I very much would like to find a complateble person. My wife used to be but is not anymore.Now it's no sex of any kind with her. So I chat online,she knows.
    Thanks
    Ashley

  • fluke 4 years ago

    I agree - just be. I fell in love with a girl who turned out to be a lesbian. She gave hints - it just took me x number of years to sink in! However, once I processed things, I came to one realization - I love: she loves. That's unconditional. It doesn't matter about her orientation and to her, it doesn't matter that I'm straight. What we had was real, we felt and acted really quite strongly towards each other then, and at the feeling is still there now. There is something in her that when I see the whole of her, I love. Period. I think the worst possible thing that we can do is labelling people as "straight, GLBT, etc" - because it is very limiting. And frankly, when you find someone you love, even if it only a "friendship", it can bring a whole area of meaning to your life that can feed your other relationships.

  • elena_ma._isabel@hotmail.com 3 years ago

    hola muy bien guau mas

  • Liyah 3 years ago

    Weirdos

  • Anonymous 2 years ago

    I am at a loss for words.....a lesbian broke my heart

  • Leslee 1 year ago

    I'm not even sure where to begin.... this is absolutely amazing and perfect!!!

  • Hannah 2 months ago

    I love this so much, I totally agree!

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