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Lemonade Ladies Poetry Night…betrayed

Lemonade Ladies Poetry
Lemonade Ladies Poetry

Rhonda Julian was a beautiful teenage girl. She loved writing poetry, but her mother wanted her to be on stage, so she could say, “Look at what a beautiful daughter, I have.” Her mom could take the credit for Rhonda’s beauty, but she could not get recognition for the poetry Rhonda created. When Rhonda wrote, it was hers, she owned it, she did not get a standing ovation, but she knew she could create order with words, where no order existed behind the closed doors of her home. Little did the people know behind that cheerful exterior, was a young lady suffering at the hands of a mother, who did not know how to be a mother. Rhonda could do nothing quite right, and at those times, whatever object was close to her mother became a weapon, and was thrown at this sweet girl. She learned to dodge pieces of silverware as they were flung at her from her mother’s hand. This young beauty was also sexually assaulted. Life was not easy for this little girl, who never really got to be a little girl. Some may have envied her loveliness, but they only saw what Rhonda wanted them to see; the secrets of her life she buried within herself.

Rhonda’s poem reflects the pain she felt when she knew the soul of little Rhonda would never be allowed to be what it should have been. Rhonda was betrayed by the adults who were supposed to take care of her. She died each time she would reach out but no one believed the torture she endured. Alone she would cry, hugging herself, learning to be her own best friend.

Heaved upon this little girl was the voice of a man, the smell of a man, the dirt of a man, who killed the only innocence left of her.

She tried to hold on to the child in herself, until she knew the only way to protect little Rhonda, was to bury her. Bury her deep within herself, so nothing could ever hurt her again. Little Rhonda died because if she had not let her go; she could not have managed to save even a part of her.

Rhonda has started to write again, something she stopped doing many years ago. The time has come for her to uncover the grave she protected herself in, and open her mouth, by putting words to paper. In her poem she is unlocking her heart, and she hopes someone truly hears, and feels, and finally understands what was behind the smile of the beautiful little girl. It is time to soothe her soul.

By Rhonda Julian

I lost my soul,
I lost my friend.

I felt betrayed.
The world stopped ,
As I buried my secret.

Nobody believed me,
As I bared my soul,
Nobody wiped my tears,
As they fell to the ground.

A voice.
The smell.
The dirty hands.
I lost my trust.

Nobody asked as I prepared a grave.
She was so perfect,
And I was so happy
We played for hours,
And I gave her a name.

I knew she liked it,
I knew in my heart,
Even though she never spoke.

Christy was my friend,
A friend for life.

He took her to that smelly place,
I knew he would hurt her .

I slowly entered to save her,
When my nightmare began,
Nobody believed me,
Nobody cared.

Christy could not talk.
I prepared her grave and said good bye.
He would never hurt her again.

I buried our secret,
My soul, my friend.

We could never be betrayed,
Ever again.

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