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Learning to nest in a needy place

Ci'Monique Green

Being in want is miserable -- and equally intimate. You live in a place where your spiritual mouth cranes open in hunger, and your eyes fall shut in tandem. To depend on God for blind feeding is desperately adventurous. As your needs stack, the more revolutions your knees make as you continue to bow in urgent prayer, then stand in "mustard seed" expectation.

With each bend in the path of our personal wilderness wandering, our faith may swell and retreat in a way that surprises us. We might think ourselves rooted enough in our relationship with God to have dynamite faith that shoots ahead of us, snuffing out all foreseeable doubt. But the longer we wander -- the longer we still remain in want, the easier it is for our flesh to get weary. And when our flesh is weary our spirit is not too far behind if we don't regenerate ourselves with the power of God's Word. In those seasons of inching along on wobbly faith legs the awesome thing about our Father is that He honors mustard seed faith. By His grace, He will latch onto what we divinely proclaim -- beyond understanding -- and increase our strength to believe.

The Lord's hand may not always look like it did the last time. The bread may not materialize the same way or flavor our palate with a familiar taste. But through it all, His nourishment is constant and complete and sure. We may teeter on the edge of prolonged want, but God is faithful to abide at the matrix of satisfaction, filling our every empty place with His glory.

"But Zion said, 'The Lord has forsaken me, and my Lord has forgotten me.' Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me." ~Isaiah 49:15-16

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