We all, adults and children alike, have a love language that we speak, and we feel most loved when someone is speaking that language to us. My love language involves either gifts or acts of service. If my husband comes home with a surprise gift for me, I feel especially loved in that moment because he is speaking my love language. My husband's love language is affection. All he needs is a hug to feel loved and appreciated. Everyone has a love language, and each person's love language is different.
But sometimes it is hard to love people according to their needs and love language instead of based on our own preferences. Because receiving gifts is my love language, I also really enjoy buying and giving gifts to others. However, if my purpose through giving gifts is to communicate love to someone, I may not accomplish that if receiving gifts is not their love language. I could come home once a week with a present for my husband, and that still would not communicate love to him as much as a simple hug would. I have to set aside my preferences and love him the way he needs and not according to what I like or what makes me feel loved.
The same is true with our children, though it is often much harder to figure out their love language, because they are constantly changing, learning, growing, and developing their personality. But like adults, each child has their own love language which needs to be spoken to them. As the adults in their lives, we need to observe and study them, and pray that God would show us how they need to be loved. As a result, our children will grow up feeling safe, nurtured, and accepted, and thrive at home and in life.
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