Imagine a day without complaints. Imagine a week where everyone does what they need to do with a smile and a good cheer. Imagine what it is like to be in another person’s shoes, life, or day … just for a moment.
We complain when we are not feeling either useful or capable.
We complain when our vision of the day is simply not happening.
We complain before we have to be accountable and what we are doing is not working.
We complain when we are scared.
Now, you have it. And the big question is how do you help empower someone so they can begin to empower themselves? First, you need to know the foundation of complaining.
*** Rewarded behavior gets repeated***
Chew on that for a few minutes.
Think about being a kid (we can all relate to that). Or think about having a kid (many of us can relate to that). Behavioral science has tons of studies that show what gets done over and over is hard wired into the brain.
Just ask one of Pavlov’s dogs. That old experiment is all you need to see how rewarded behavior gets repeated.
Hungry dogs; bell rings and then food; hungry dogs, bell rings, dogs salivate expecting food; they get food.
Bell rings, hungry (or not really even hungry) dogs, salivate; they get no food. So what they are already conditioned to? The bell.
So complainer comes to you and you jump in to explain the situation, offer to help, or get help for complainer and complainer is off the hook. Do this enough times and you have a very happy salivating dog that has you doing the work.