Tales of Woe
A few days ago I asked someone at a social gathering how they were doing. From the dark cloud forming on his face, I knew I was in trouble. It wasn’t the kind of situation where we could talk long, so all there would be time for was to tell me a sad story.
Lawyers have a rule in court: never ask a witness a question you don’t already know the answer to.
This is a good rule for people who understand the Law of Attraction. Since like attracts like, there is nothing more important than feeling good. If you ask the wrong caring question, it’s easy to be in a fun situation and suddenly get swamped with a tale of woe.
My friend wasn’t able to tell me his troubling story because other revelers joined us, but I decided from now on I’m not going to ask how someone’s doing. I’m going to ask something like, “What nice things have you noticed in your life recently.” This will get both of us focused on the positive.
Of course, giving someone the opportunity to share their troubles can be quite positive—as long as you have the time and skill to move the conversation to a higher level. If both of you part feeling better, you did it. If you leave feeling sorry for your friend, you haven’t helped them. You’re simply reinforcing their impotence.
When you see someone in trouble, it helps to remember there is a solution for every problem. We all have access to the wisdom and energy that creates worlds, and can guide our lives with our thoughts. If someone can convince you to see them as hopeless, you have both lost. If you focus clearly on where they want to go, and they can feel your clear vision through your words, you have both won.
When someone tells you about a goal (to get well, to have more money, to find a partner), it’s tempting and seemingly an act of caring to ask about it the next time you see them. But doing so can get both of you in trouble. If they aren’t talking about it, they may have nothing new to say that they’re proud of. So asking how it’s going can just remind both of you of their lack of success.
A better question would be, “What ways have you been feeling good about your project (health, lover, money).” When someone plants a seed, it takes time to see the first sprout. In terms of the Law of Attraction, finding a way to feel good about it nourishes the dream. The best focus is on finding a way to feel good right where they are along their path, irrespective of whether the seed has started to show its face.
Where they are is irrelevant. Feeling good about where they’re going is everything.
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