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Korean dictator feeds uncle to pack of starving dogs

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"Completely eaten up..."

Despite previous reports of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un executing his uncle by firing squad, reports are bubbling to the surface that his now dead rival Jang Song-thaek was actually put to death by a pack of starved dogs, as reported by NBC News via KARE-TV of Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN, on Jan. 3, 2014.

Last Christmas Eve, the Huffington Post noted that the diminutive dictator reportedly had his uncle and top rival Jang Song-thaek put to death by firing squad, and not just any firing squad, but by heavy machine guns used to shoot down airplanes.

Now reports are beginning to leak out of the xenophobic regime that Uncle Thaek actually faced his demise in the snarly face of 120 starved dogs.

The Hong Kong-based newspaper Wen Wei Po, long known for supporting the Communist government in Beijing, was cited as publishing that Uncle Thaek and his five closest aides were fed to 120 hunting dogs which had been starved for five days prior.

Officially found guilty by Kim of attempting to overthrow the state, the despotic dwarf and his equally height-challenged brother Kim Jong-chol personally witnessed the one-hour execution while in the company of 300 other Communist officials.

Wen Wei Po also made a point of citing that Jang and friends were "completely eaten up."

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