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Koch brothers buy western Canada, America not shocked

Koch brothers create 'Kochada', Canadian citizens stunned!
Koch brothers create 'Kochada', Canadian citizens stunned!
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The latest ‘buzz’ in many major newspapers and web based entities such as Politico.com have opined of a merger between the United States and Canada by creating a customs and monetary union or, more radically, by merging outright into a single nation-state or a European Union-style partnership.

The Koch brothers, David and Charles, have usurped that position and expanded their domain by purchasing the western half of Canada and declaring themselves co-rulers of the new country of Kochada. (Ko-Kay-Duh)

“We’re coming out of the corporate closet” said David Koch, through one of the many right wing shadow groups they anonymously fund.

This gives us the control we wanted over transportation industries, oil and gas, machinery and equipment, agriculture and their mining industry.

The deal, in the works and under the table for some years, was ratified by the Canadian Parliament in a voice vote on a Sunday when everyone else was watching the Toronto Maple Leafs in a heated battle with the Ottawa Senators. “A Parliamentary democracy was almost as easy to control as the United States Congress and the Senate” opined Charles.

“The one sticking point was Vancouver. They wanted too much for it. We decided to let them keep it. We’ll just install the fence we wanted to build on the Mexican border around the city. That way, we’ll be able to charge them coming and going” he guffawed.

“This purchase will enable us to pursue our dream of possessing complete control of an entire country; ours. We will no longer need to ‘buy’ politicians with money funneled through bogus entities. It will all be in the open. Take that, democratic process.

Ever since my brother David ran for Vice President on the Libertarian Party ticket in 1980, we’ve had our eye on the prize. We just didn’t realize until a few years ago that it could be a whole different country.

For some years now, we’ve been covertly worming our way through the Canadian system, buying a politician here and subverting City Councils there.

It was easy!

And the part we bought speaks English!