Understanding what you truly want in life is a thought-provoking proposition at times. I’m not talking about wanting more money, that new sports car or eyeing that bigger house at the top of the hill.
Too often, I think the material things we have (or want) are at the expense of what is truly healthy for us. Life is more than all this…much, much more.
How do we make the decisions we do?
I learned a lot from my parents when I was growing up. We were not rich and I had a terrific childhood,. My wonderful parents provided what I needed and threw in a few “wants” of mine once in awhile. This began to teach me the art of resiliency and to manage my expectations just a bit better.
I learned to not always ask for money, seek to go somewhere all the time and feel entitled to continually doing something. I, for example, was just happy being with friends close to where I lived.
In today’s world, though, gratification is just a credit card or easy action away. Buying our children the next version of the iPhone like their friends seems OK. Going into debt to purchase a place three time bigger than we need seems perfectly justifiable. Ordering large extra value meals that will eventually allow us to gain 50 extra pounds seems acceptable.
With all this – and you can fill in your own examples – the question should be “why.” While I am not one who dwells on “the good old times,” why are our expectations so much more these days?
I don’t think we are any less diligent then our parents, or that we don’t want to save money and bring up our children with the values we learned to be happy/successful as kids.
A soap box is not my resilient style, but I think some of the mechanisms of life have made it too easy for us to overindulge and not always find that common ground for what we really need.
Being resilient in many ways, as I’ve mentioned over the years, should not only be we implemented when in a crisis mode – loss of a job, relationship or even a death of a loved one.
Applying our resiliency in good times is learning to compromise and not always ordering the super-sized fries, or buying that larger house when we can’t necessarily afford it.
The key is understanding what we truly need in life and finding ways to step back to think through such actions as going to Arizona instead of Rome for a vacation to save a few dollars. No matter if it an action great or small, however, I suggest asking yourself three self-awareness questions. We, at think2perform, call it the freeze game:
What are you thinking?
How are you feeling?
What are you doing?
Stepping back, staying calm and asking these questions many times during the day only takes a few seconds. But it can make a tremendous difference.
As we are buying our kids the newest and greatest, deciding between that sports car or something more modest, or even trying to stay self-confident in a world that has many different paths, such a resilient mindset offers any of us the opportunity to do what is uniquely best for us.
Being extremely resilient like me doesn’t mean that I’ve done what’s best all the time.
I have a teenager who I’ve given in way too often, and staying on those “right” paths for consistent self-confidence have never been a walk in the park for me.
I’ve learned – sometimes the hard way - to never try to be perfect…just try and give it your best and understand your needs. Find that common ground and step back to give a little more thought to the decisions you are making.
Then, as I have found, you can better understand what you truly want and what is resiliently important for you.
Read more about my resiliency perspectives in my five current e-books. Just go to http://resiliencyfirst to check them out.
Thanks for your readership, and I hope you are enjoying life today!