There are two fundamental beliefs that I have about knowing when to throw in the towel on a relationship. Actually, there are probably more; however, for the sake of this article, I will talk about the two which I deem most important, knowing when to throw in the towel, and making that decision by yourself.
If you are like most women, when you were a young girl, you fantasized about the type of man that you would marry, where you would live, how many children you would have, and the careers that you and her husband would have. Somewhere in your early twenties, reality probably crashed your party and you needed to readjust. Notice I say “readjust” not “settle.” Every woman who respects herself and gives respect, deserves to be respected.
If you are in a relationship with someone whom you do not feel you are compatible, whom you are not attracted to, or who does not treat you well, and you continue to stick around, you are “settling.” However, if you were hoping to marry a man who makes a six figure salary and yours only makes in the mid fives, but in all other areas, you are satisfied, you should “readjust” your thinking.
Besides pursuing your own happiness and being truly confident and comfortable within your relationship, one adage always rings true, “You can’t find Mr. Right when you’re hangin’ out with Mr. Wrong (or Mr. Right Now). Too often, women throw away a good man for foolish, selfish, and self-seeking reasons, yet they remain in relationships where they are abused (emotionally and/or physically), where they are not respected, not comfortable, not cherished, not desired, and not encouraged to blossom into who they are destined to become. As humans, I believe we are constantly (or at least we should) evolving to account for new circumstances, changes of life, and anything else this life may call us to deal with. This constant evolving leads us to having a happier and healthier life. If you are not with someone who you can grow and evolve with but instead are with someone who stifles your pursuit of happiness for their own selfish ambitions, or lack there-of, you might strongly consider throwing in the towel.
However urgently I encourage you to objectively evaluate your relationship, the second fundamental belief calls for you to make that decision of your own accord. Only you can reflect and be either pleased or disappointed with your decision to stay or walk away from any relationship. And only you will have to deal with any and all consequences and repercussions of whatever decision you decide to make.
In closing:
- Step outside of your emotions and use your mind to contemplate the pros and cons of your relationship
- Be honest with yourself – if you can’t be honest with yourself, than with whom can you be honest?
- Be prepared to act when you know that you have reached the peak of clarity – don’t chicken out
- Whatever you decide, get it done quickly. Stay or go. Make your decision boldy and accept the responsibilities of doing so.
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