This week's Nerd War sees the contestants writing, producing, and performing a song that epitomizes the nerd experience. The nerd anthem must be full of nerdy references, celebrate all things nerdy, and be catchy enough that other nerds will want it as their ringtone. Each team works with their own music producer to record their songs and a choreographer to hone their performance.
This is of course theater geek Genevieve's specialty so she leads the Blue team, while Maxim darling Danielle (AKA Panser AKA TradeChat) begins providing (occasionally unsolicited) feedback. Danielle supposedly feels very self-conscious about her performance, which is hard to believe given her widely remixed dance moves on YouTube for Maxim (see video).
Music producer Jingle Jared from Jingle Punks helps the Blue team while a guy known only as Rick helps the Orange team. Lauren and Napoleon from "So You Think You Can Dance," help choreograph the Blue team. Very pregnant Tabitha, the choreographer for "So You Think You Can Dance," coaches the Orange team. Ivan sums up the Orange team's strategy:
I'm Dungeons & Dragons, Danielle's games, and Moo is science. I think if we touch on all of those things together we can cover most of nerd splendor.
The panel of judges consists of:
I was disappointed by the lack of Weird Al. Blue team (AKA Team Blextrophy) debuted "Talk Nerdy to Me":
VIRGIL
Living life as a skinny academic
Kids treated me like an epidemic
Liking Star Wars didn't make it any better
They all started calling me a bed-wetterGENEVIEVE
Then you grew up, started seeing the truth
That being who you are is actually kind of cute
So to all the geeks, Poindexters, and weirdoes
All I've got to say is: Baby let's go!REFRAIN
I don't care if it's Klingon or Na'vi baby
Talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to me
Go ahead in Java or in C, yeah
Talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to meCELESTE
You can make fun how I look and how I talk
I got my glasses on and I'm ready to rock
Games and cubes are really what I know
Nerd's the new cool, let's put on a showREFRAIN
I don't care if it's Klingon or Na'vi baby
Talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to me
Go ahead in Java or in C, yeah
Talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to me
I don't care if it's Klingon or Na'vi baby
Talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to meVIRGIL
Talk nerdy to me
Orange team performs "Nerds Are King":
IVAN
Break it down.
MOOGEGA
You think we rule the world and it's kind of scary
But our influence has gone extraplanetary
We build satellites that make all your cellies work
While you're the douche on Earth acting like a jerk
Among us nerds it's all sugar and spice, and
We're studying the cosmos like Neil deGrasse Tyson
In school we were quiet and never fought
Now look who's the mother****ing astronautREFRAIN
You call me a nerd like it's a bad thing
But the world is a kingdom and nerds are king
Rerpesentin' for the geeks who get put down
Nerd's the new cool and we run this townIVAN
People used to say that I always look goofy
Well, hyuck, sucker I f*** love A Goofy Movie
Look at me now, you've awoken a red dragon
Breathin' fire on you haters who be laughin' and braggin'
You may have played football, but your zombie plan will fail
I'll be chillin' in my bunker while they're eatin' your tail
Being a nerd is more than having tape on your glasses
It's about passion, fool, and being badassesREFRAIN
You call me a nerd like it's a bad thing
But the world is a kingdom and nerds are king
Rerpesentin' for the geeks who get put down
Nerd's the new cool and we run this townDANIELLE
Used to get picked on, was the source of all the laughs
But I'm in a top-rated guild in World of Warcraft
Other girls were dreaming of jocks in locker rooms
While I was fantasizing 'bout ridin' Harry's broom
I can roll a D 20, but I can't dodge a ball
I'm the f**** Pokemaster, I gotta catch them all
Academically speaking, I won and you lost
This is Fortune 500 b***h, now I'm your boss
And the judges' decision:
- Oates: Blue
- Garfunkel: Orange
- MCFrontalot: Orange
The winners go to the Sky Zone, the world's biggest trampoline. That leaves who goes to the Nerd-Off. The Blue team picks Virgil and the Orange team picks Genevieve. Virgil and Genevieve battle each other in the Xbox Kinect game Dance Central 3. And the winner is:
- Genevieve: 1,129,000
- Virgil: 1,100,000
Given the small numbers of the two teams, the teams are dissolved and now the final five are competing against each other.
Next week seems to be a science/engineering contest, which means Moogega was right – removing Virgil as a possible opponent probably boosted her chances.
Want more? Subscribe to this column; follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Pinterest, and the web; buy my books: The Evolution of Fantasy Role-Playing Games, The Well of Stars, and Awfully Familiar. Become an Examiner and get paid to write today!
Comments